The Constitution Hangs by an Umbilicus

Smart people make more money.
Smart people don’t reproduce.
High intelligence is genetic.
Dumb people make less money.
Dumb people reproduce a lot.
The rich get richer because there are less of them.
The poor get poorer because there are more of them.

Slacker Educated Mormon Men need to get married.
Gradually, smart Mormons,
(who reproduce a lot)
will take over all positions in the US Gov. requiring
high intelligence.
The constitution is saved.

Corollary. The Devil fought polygamy, not Joseph Smith.


  1. i dont get the last sentence. what are you trying to say.

    PS who has seen idiocracy? lol

  2. The last sentence may require a google search, perhaps.

  3. Now I understand the emphasis on marriage in conference

  4. The only real revenge is blood violence. Hence all the child birth.

  5. If only slacker Mormon men knew that more was at stake than an unmarried woman!

  6. Have you commissioned Jon McNaughton to do a fine artistic treatment of this concept?

  7. Slacker Mormon Men? No. Slacker Educated Mormon Men.

  8. This is the most inspiring post I have ever seen on this website.

  9. Bleak Oyster says:

    WVS, this might be the most transgressive haiku to appear on this website ever.

  10. 6. I plan to take up donations for just such a painting.
    5. Indeed.
    9. Isn’t it?
    8. Truly.

  11. a random John says:

    Put up a kickstarter fund. Let’s see who can get to $15k first, your painting, or the Duck Beach documentary.

  12. Why would the devil fight something that the Lord has always called an abomination? The devil relishes in things like that because it enslaves women.

  13. Dave P,

    “Enslaves” … Really? Don’t you think that is a bit hyperbolic. The New Testament and the Endowment ceremony enslave women just as much as polygamy does.

    If a woman is expected to “obey” her husband, than I’m not sure why that would not constitute “enslavement,” yet polygamy would. Can you explain your thinking here?

  14. 12. Why would the devil fight an enormous family of intelligent, God-fearing, productive people?

  15. “The Marching Morons” C. M. Kornbluth.

  16. I think I disagree with the claim that government positions require high intelligence. I have seen little evidence to support this, and much to refute it.

  17. Eric, that is one obvious weakness here. It’s not clear what dysgenic trends in the electorate would mean for the capability of the elected. (g)

  18. So outnumbering the idiots really is a legitimate reason to procreate? huh

    This is definitely food for thought on how to answer the “are they all yours?” questions. I wonder how “to save the constitution” will go over…hmm

  19. I’m a little confused by this statement: “all positions in the US Gov. requiring high intelligence”.

    If high intelligence were “required” we’d have 8 or 9 Congressmen left, and no administration.
    (OK, I’m exaggerating: 4 or 5 Congressmen)

  20. Consider the effect of domestication on the intelligence of animals.

    Wolves/coyotes, working dogs, lap dogs.
    Wild goats, goats, then sheep.
    Wild ass, donkey, horse, small house horse.

    We might be fooling ourselves if we think that the same process is not happening to us. Which human stage generally requires the most creativity and intelligence?

    Hunter/gatherer, farmer, industrialist, digitalist.

    What is the role of government, education, religion, wealth accumulation, etc. Do they tend to further domesticate us or tend to preserve our wild old ways?

  21. Have you commissioned Jon McNaughton to do a fine artistic treatment of this concept?

    McNaughton do something so pornographic? I shudder to think. That liberal socialist immoral thinking could only come from one educated at the Berkeley of the mountains. Surely you are alum to Lucifer’s Campus: The Y.

  22. Wolves/coyotes, working dogs, lap dogs.
    Wild goats, goats, then sheep.
    Wild ass, donkey, horse, small house horse.

    Huh. Who knew. I share lineage with the small house horse. Weird.

  23. observer fka eric s says:

    Wild ass , , , Jon McNaughton

  24. Satire -> Parody -> Kitsch -> Muzak -> McNaughton

  25. B. Russ, re # 21, I’ll admit I am only a poser, aspiring to the socialistic new-world-order Marxist leanings of the Berkley of the Mountains. I actually graduated from Weber State College in Ogden, the inspiration for NBC’s sitcom Community.

    WVS, if you are taking up a collection for the painting commission, I have an initial $5.95 for the extra large 64 color box of crayons. Or the crayons themselves, if you don’t mind the teethmarks and want to dodge the KGB-infiltrated IRS agents rifling through your bank account.

  26. I’m petitioning Evans for a paypal button, but so far he hasn’t responded.

  27. Steve Evans says:

    WVS no paypal for you!

  28. Lobster Bisque?

  29. How about, slacker females also need to get married?

  30. Demography is destiny.
    You’re either in relative population growth or relative decline. You can’t sit out on the sidelines.

  31. N: where have I heard *that* before?

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