Best Comment of the Week (3): Happy Holidays Edition

Belatedly, another edition of Best Comment of the Week. Rules for nomination are the same.

Mark B. on avoiding MoTab

It’s really pretty easy to avoid listening to the MoTabs. It’s like avoiding porn–don’t buy it, don’t click on those links, and if it pops up unbidden on your computer or TV, turn it off.

Keeps my blood pressure in the range my doctor likes, and saves my friends and family from hearing me complain.

For Miri, Sex is Voldermort 

“You’ll never find a perfect analogy for teaching the law of chastity, but it is easier than getting explicit with a bunch of teenagers or adults for that matter (who are likely not your kin) during church.”

I’m finding myself thinking that if we can’t talk about a thing without resorting to weak analogies, maybe we shouldn’t be talking about it. (In fact, I wonder sometimes why people’s sex lives are under the jurisdiction of churches at all. But that’s another story.) I just think the Mormon approach toward sex could be much healthier if we could talk about it calmly and frankly, without all the sensationalizing half-formed analogies. It’s like sex is Voldemort, and we’re so afraid of it that we can’t even just talk about what it is. Sex is natural and normal and basic and seriously, if we could just be honest and grown-up about it, I think teenagers would respond a lot better.

Lessonnumberone on Jesus’ in unchristian fashion

Of course he is Mormon if his Jesus wears socks with his sandals…it’s just that other people don’t see him as christian because of that.

danithew on Stan Lee

I heard once that Stan Lee listened to the discussions.

kevinf on Divine Providence in Football 

Well, it’s not been working for BYU of late, so all that divine help had to go somewhere.

Jim F. on perils of poetic hyperbole 

Frank Bisti (#18) Rilke was a poet. Jacob is a philosopher. Why should we think that what Jacob has written is “poetic hyperbole,” even if it has a superscription from Rilke? Or perhaps you’re saying that the claim “God loves his children” is poetic hyperbole and, so, shouldn’t be analyzed because it isn’t truth. Or perhaps . . . the truth is I can’t understand the point you’re making. Perhaps you should engage in less poetic hyperbole.

A beautiful comment from KLS.

Steve asks an important question. For me it’s like this: my thoughts/feelings are like an interactive multimedia movie showing on the big screen of my mind. I used to think I was the movie. Then I realized I was only sitting in the theater, watching. Then I realized God was sitting next to me, and had been all along.

God hasn’t had much to say about what I should DO. Rather, when I connect with him I sense how I could BE, if I so desire.

Despite Ray’s protests, Thomas Parkin gets nominated 

One of the things that is going on is … no one wants to think that the Devil is winning. Since the Devil is much hotter, one result of the Devil winning is that the earth will warm up. If God were winning, the temperatures would all be getting closer to 68 degrees Fahrenheit, which is the temperature of God. No extreme temperatures can abide His presence. But we are driving God from the planet by not praying to Him in school and by electing a Kenyan president. Kenyans should be presidents in Kenya, Americans should presidents in America.

I don’t think we should fear, though. We should be assured the Devil won’t win. In fact, there is evidence that the Devil knoweth not the mind of God, because this warming is going to drown the coastlines, where they all live.

Larry the Cable Guy on Isabel

How are we forgetting # 6, the harlot Isabel who, uh, helped to generate a few quality chapters in Alma?


  1. Mark, KLS favorites here. Was boiseleon in an earlier edition? Of course, this isn’t Best Comments of the Decade, so understandable if not.

  2. If you’re not going to name TP commenter of the century and exempt him from the weekly competitions, he has my vote for describing Lucifer as being a hottie.

  3. I think Jim F’s comment has my vote.

  4. Mark B and Miri. (What can I say? I like Voldemort.)

  5. danithew’s comment re Stan Lee must be read in context and with Mormon cultural awareness, and with an understanding of danithew’s earnestness to fully appreciate it. That was a spectacular comment.

  6. KLS has to get my vote. Its just too beautiful to be beaten by Voldemort and MoTab porn.

  7. While I am flattered to have been nominated, I have to admit that I favor Mark B, KLS, or Thomas Parkin FTW. We should put the final choice to the voters in NH today.

  8. I have to vote for Jim F, and not just because the visibility of voting here means I’d look like a tool if I voted for myself… Seriously though. Thomas Parkin’s would be my second choice, and Mark B’s my third.

  9. My second vote is for the subject with all the words which must not be spoken – since speaking them immediately draws the minions of Satan to your location.

    Hell’s radar is impressive – unless there are seven people dressed alike and saying the same bad word at once, which causes Lucifer to be unable to find the true leader immediately and, out of sheer spite and cussedness, command his followers to possess the imposters. This only is a problem for the possessed and the possessors if the possessed are particularly piggish and there is a cliff nearby.

  10. StillConfused says:

    MoTab comment was my favorite

  11. Thomas Parkin for the win! I’m gonna use his comment the next time an evangelical gets all uppity about Creation, Global Warming or anything else that annoys me. Evangelicals love to talk about the Devil’s powers.

  12. Thomas Parkin’s comment was awesome.

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