From the Archives: Weeping, Singing, Remembering–A November Homily

This is from 2005–an epoch ago, in blog time, so perhaps some of you won’t be bored to tears by it. Wishing you all a wonderful day and season!

Weeping, Singing, Remembering–A November Homily

November is an odd month–hard to say whether it’s the end of autumn, or the beginning of winter. This year I think we’ve even had a few days of spring. It doesn’t fit easily in the American cultural calendar, either–the somewhat belated harvest festival at the end of it seems to be mostly an impediment to full-out marketing of Christmas merchandise beginning right after Halloween and a decorating dilemma: no one can decide whether to stay with the gold and orange-tones of autumn, or go straight to red and green. And then smack in the middle of the month is Veteran’s Day, suggesting red, white and blue accents perhaps.

There’s one overlooked holiday in November, though, that may help us make sense of these clashing themes. November actually begins with All Saints’ Day–not much celebrated by Latter-day Saints, but one which I think could actually fit well in our tradition. All Saints’ Day is observed by many Christian churches as a day to remember the lives of virtuous people and rededicate oneself to following their example. It thus introduces a major theme of the month of November–REMEMBRANCE, which is then made more specific and poignant on Veteran’s Day, when we remember the veterans of all wars, and also celebrate the armistice after WWI–a peace which, of course, turned out to be fragile and temporary. These dual celebrations of virtuous lives and noble deaths give us an opportunity to remember those who have died with gratitude for their sacrifice and their example. And there are deeper lessons there, too, that prepare us for Thanksgiving and Christmas, all bound up in the word “remember.” “Remember” is a nice sturdy Anglo-Saxon word that means the opposite of “dis-member.” That is, it means, at its most basic, “to put together,” (especially to put together in one’s mind–to fit together the pieces of a mental image). My dictionary gives the following definitions: “to recall to the mind through an act of memory; to call to the mind with effort or determination.”

It is this determination and effort that finally connect remembrance to thanksgiving. As human beings, we choose by an act of will how we will re-member our experiences. Sometimes this choice is barely conscious; sometimes it takes a long time before we can make sense of an experience enough to name and take control of our memories, but, as we tell and retell the stories of our lives to ourselves, we gradually sort out the narrative elements we will keep, the themes around which we will organize our recitations of events, the action that will occupy center stage in our memories. Stories, like our lives, are usually organized around a crisis, a central tension of some sort. Just as the armistice after World War I turned out to be too fragile to last, we will find that the periods of contentment and peace in our lives are interrupted by sickness, by death, by sin, discouragement, and despair. The way that we choose to tell the story of our lives in these moments is especially important: we can become overwhelmed by the crisis of the moment, or we can situate the current problem in a narrative that includes the remembrance of God’s help in our past, and in the lives of those we love and revere. One of my favorite reminders of this possibility is in Hebrews, Chapter 11: 1-16, 30-34:

1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.

4 By faith Abel offered unto God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain, by which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his gifts: and by it he being dead yet speaketh.

5 By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God.

7 By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith.

8 By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went. 9 By faith he sojourned in the land of promise, as in a strange country, dwelling in tabernacles with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise.

11 Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised.

12 Therefore sprang there even of one, and him as good as dead, so many as the stars of the sky in multitude, and as the sand which is by the sea shore innumerable.

30 By faith the walls of Jericho fell down, after they were compassed about seven days. 31 By faith the harlot Rahab perished not with them that believed not, when she had received the spies with peace.

32 And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell of Gideon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthae; of David also, and Samuel, and of the prophets: 33 Who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, 34 Quenched the violence of afire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. 35 Women received their dead raised to life again: and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain better resurrection:

13 These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them.

Paul is not the only prophet concerned with our remembrance of the goodness of God to our forefathers and mothers. The stories of these people are told over and over in the scriptures; the Exodus is reenacted each year in the Passover, the Book of Mormon is full of the admonition to remember.

I want to digress for a minute and tell a small story about my own life: when I was a little girl, my mother used the hymnal as a weapon. If we were fighting, she would sing “Let Us Oft Speak Kind Words.” If we were resisting going to bed, she would sing “Now the Day is Over,” when we did not do our chores fast enough, she sang “The Time is Far Spent.” Now, my mother has many talents, but carrying a tune is not among them, so this was a pretty effective way for her to do battle. When we were upset about some perceived slight, or some little thing that wasn’t going our way, she would often sing “Count Your Many Blessings.” And I confess that it never worked to make me feel better, and I still really dislike that song. Moreover, I’m not convinced that my dislike of the song is entirely rooted in childhood trauma; I believe there may be something fundamentally wrong with the premise that “when upon life’s billows [we] are tempest-tossed,” counting our many blessings is the most effective way to snap out of our funk.

I know it’s heretical to question the premise of a hymn, but bear with me a minute. Let’s compare the formula prescribed by the song with Psalm 137, which is about a moment when the children of Israel were “tempest-tossed:” “By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea, we wept when we remembered Zion. We hanged our harps upon the willows in the midst thereof. For there they that carried us away captive required of us a song; and they that wasted us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the songs of Zion. How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a strange land?” One of the reasons I think “Count Your Many Blessings” rubs me the wrong way is that tells us how to feel–it suggests that we should feel grateful all the time. It “requires of us mirth.” And that, of course, makes me feel guilty because I don’t seem to be capable of sustaining that feeling for very long stretches. It’s likely that I am exceptionally wicked and ungrateful, but still, I think that the kind of overwhelming gratitude we think we should feel is not an emotion we can manage to feel constantly.

I think maybe the Psalms are a better guide than “Count Your Many Blessings.” I’ve been reading them over this week, and here’s the lesson I take from them: the Psalmists command praise of God, giving thanks, not as the result of an overflowing of feeling grateful–indeed these poems move from cursing the poets’ enemies, to imploring God for blessings, to giving thanks for God’s past mercies and praising Him for His miraculous interventions with a rapidity that is stunning, if we think of them as descriptions of how the poet is feeling. Instead, I think they make sense if we read them as a guide to the process of remembering, if we understand that we are to be grateful as an act of will, that we are to decide to tell the stories of our lives with emphasis on God’s goodness and mercies to us. And we have to practice telling our stories this way, so that it becomes the narrative we know best–perhaps this is why we begin our prayers with offering thanks, and try to do it when we don’t much feel thankful. Even when our thanks are routine or a little perfunctory, when our feelings don’t quite match up, it is useful to cultivate the habit of praise and gratitude.

Discouragement, despair, and sin can all feel like exile–when we feel like strangers in a strange land, we will not feel like singing. We will want to weep. And yet, if we have learned to sing the song of gratitude by long practice, then even in exile, in despair, when we are longing for “an heavenly country,” as Paul says, we will be able to remember the words of the songs–we will be cheered by the singing of those around us, and we will remember the lives of the faithful who have gone before, who have made it through their own wilderness places and found home at last. And this memory will make room for the happy ending of our own story, just as our Autumn rituals of memory and thanksgiving make space for the sudden glory of Christ’s birth, in the middle of the darkest nights of the year.

Here is how the poet John Donne described this abundance in the midst of want:

God made Sun and Moon to distinguish seasons, and day, and night, and we cannot have the fruits of the earth but in their seasons: But God hath made no decree to distinguish the seasons of his mercies; In paradise, the fruits were ripe the first minute, and in heaven it is alwaies Autumne, his mercies are ever in their maturity. We ask panem quotidianum, our daily bread, and God never sayes you should have come yesterday, he never sayes you must again to morrow, but to day if you will heare his voice, to day he will heare you. If some King of the earth have so large an extent of Dominon, in North, and South, as that he hath Winter and Summer together in his dominions, much more hath God mercy and judgment together: He brought light out of darknesse, not out of a lesser light; he can bring thy Summer out of Winter, though thou have no Spring; though in the wayes of fortune, or understanding, or conscience, thou have been benighted till now, wintred and frozen, clouded and eclypsed, damped and benummed, smothered and stupified till now, now God comes to thee, not as in the dawning of the day, not as in the bud of the spring, but as the Sun at noon to illustrate all shadowes, as the sheaves in harvest, to fill all penuries. All occasions invite his mercies, and all times are his seasons.

May we more fully entwine the stories of our lives with grateful memories of God’s mercies, so that our yearly ritual of Thanksgiving will prepare us to receive light out of darkness as we celebrate Christ’s birth, just as our daily ritual of beginning our prayers with a litany of gratitude prepares us to recognize and give thanks for God’s continued presence in our lives.


  1. Beautiful, Kristine. Thank you.

    Also from Donne: “I must be poor and want before I can exercise the virtue of gratitude; miserable, and in torment, before I can exercise the virtue of patience. How deep do we dig, and for how coarse gold!”

  2. I nominate Kristine to preach me a weekly sermon.

  3. This is a wonderful memory to share with us, so that we too may remember. I remember a seminary project where we were asked to write about the worst time in our lives. It had to be at least four pages and include as many details as possible. We worked on it for two weeks after Halloween. After there were finished and turned in, we didn’t talk about the papers until the week before Thanksgiving.

    Two days before we would start Thanksgiving break we were given back out papers. The next morning we were asked to write a page or less, in an hour, that expressed our gratitude for the trial we had spent two weeks writing about. There were two things that still come to mind when I think about that day. One is that for a completely silent room, with only the sounds of writing, the Spirit was exceedingly strong, to the point that many if us had tears in our eyes as we wrote. The second is that it was so much more meaningful to write about how I had learned and grown than it had been to write about the painful experience.

    I don’t think I could have written of the blessings that came from struggle if I hadn’t taken the time to explore my thoughts and feelings, the deep hurts that were inflicted, often by those who were not cruel, just ignorant of the situation. It was first letting all the bad stuff come up and getting it out, on paper, that then let me go back and appreciate the growth and strength I received.

    I think too often, as Latter-day Saints we think that we need to pretend bad things don’t happen to us. While we don’t want to make sin glamorous, I do think we need to acknowledge it when we commit sin, and when sins are committed against us. We can’t heal if we are trying to pretend that the wound isn’t there.

  4. Thanks, Kristine. A beautiful reminder. I’ve never liked “Count Your Many Blessings” either, and you have just explained why! I feel a need to set that Donne passage to music. If only I was musical.

  5. You’d be hard pressed to do better setting Donne than this gem:

  6. This: “I believe there may be something fundamentally wrong with the premise that ‘when upon life’s billows [we] are tempest-tossed,’ counting our many blessings is the most effective way to snap out of our funk.”

    And not just that, but the nutrient-dense deconstruction of it in the paragraphs that follow. Thanks for teaching me better ways to cultivate gratitude.

  7. Kristine: maybe you’re familiar with Eugene Peterson’s version of the Bible, The Message? I love it for its earthy and authentic words, especially in the Psalms and Job. Here’s, for example, his version of Psalm 99: 1-5 (

    1-3 God rules. On your toes, everybody!
    He rules from his angel throne—take notice!
    God looms majestic in Zion,
    He towers in splendor over all the big names.
    Great and terrible your beauty: let everyone praise you!
    Holy. Yes, holy.
    4-5 Strong King, lover of justice,
    You laid things out fair and square;
    You set down the foundations in Jacob,
    Foundation stones of just and right ways.
    Honor God, our God; worship his rule!
    Holy. Yes, holy.

    Also, I’m totally with you and juliathepoet on the importance of acknowledging real pain and not _always_ being of good cheer. Not least of all because those perpetually-upbeat types can get so annoying.

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