Caption Contest


Write your entries in the comments. Authors of the top two entries will get the opportunity to fight to the death as gladiators in the BCC Death Arena near the center of the earth. Multiple entries are allowed and encouraged.


  1. “I told you, I don’t know how to get to MOMA, I’m not from around here. Use your Google Maps or whatever.”

  2. “Dude, you can’t tackle me and do a citizen’s arrest just because I’m wearing a bathrobe in public.”

  3. Cordeiro says:

    “And he straightway left his briefcase and followed Him.”

  4. This is an image from the Parable of the Disciple and the Oncoming Bus

  5. “I’m the Son of God. What I am doing in this $#!%@ McNaughton knock-off?!”

  6. “Is this the way to Nordstroms?”
    “Yeah. Let me grab my bag and I’ll come with you.”

  7. Careful with the irreverent loquacity, everyone. Just FYI. (1-4, you’re just fine, keep it up).

  8. And 5.

  9. “No, dude, you’ve got the wrong guy, and why do people keep saying that?”

  10. LOL^^

  11. dba.brotherp says:

    “Dude, where’s my car?”

  12. “Huh? You want to dance? Like right here, on the sidewalk? Fine I guess, but I should warn you: I have two left feet.” (no, seriously guys. Look at Jesus’ feet. Something very strange happening there.)

  13. “I told you, I don’t have a dollar, and no, I couldn’t stop the Bear Stearns collapse.”

  14. I’m sure they are fabulous watches, but….I’ve really got to run.

  15. Yeah, you gotta lose the briefcase, dude. And the tie. Who makes you dress like that anyway?

  16. dba.brotherp says:

    “Did you remember to set the TiVo to record the news reports about my second coming?”

  17. “What do you mean I can’t go to Starbucks?”

  18. Rules for meeting a deity in public, #6: DO offer to shake his hand. If He agrees, then humbly let Him know you appreciate His work. If He does not, DO NOT make a scene, because even perfected beings are sometimes busy.

  19. “Listen, thanks, but I’ve got to get going because my wife is going to KILL me if I don’t bring back some cilantro.”

  20. liz johnson says:

    “Yo, Jesus, Ima let you finish, but McNaughton is one of the best painters of all time.”

  21. Come follow me…to Serendipity!!!!!

  22. liz johnson says:

    “Can’t you see I’m walkin’ here?!”

  23. “You know what, Tim? I don’t care if we’ve got a gig tonight; the Polyphonic Spree can find themselves a new tambourinist.”

  24. Come Follow Me: Chimp Edition

  25. Yes, finding your lost keys seems important, but there’s something more important to do over here.

  26. I told you I don’t take donations and I don’t build malls!

  27. Thus Jesus found financial backing for his streetside falafel stand, and it was good.

  28. Inspired by john f (#23):

    That’s right, your ancestors used to walk just like that. I know, NDBF Gary was barking up the wrong tree.

  29. “Can’t you see I twisted my ankle? Give me a hand, man.”

    Jesus’ ankle really is at a weird angle… I can’t not see it.

  30. Sharee Hughes says:

    “I just had a one-martini lunch, honest.”

  31. “Walk this way.”

  32. When the red hand goes away it means its safe to cross the street.

  33. “You followin’ me? You followin’ me?! Then who the &!@$ else you followin’… Well I’m the only one here…”

  34. Capozaino says:

    “Wait, you mean I need a haircut and a shave if I want to be taken seriously in church?”

  35. Peter LLC says:

    “Better get in line now if you want to score a new iPhone on release day.”

  36. “You’re Richard Silver’s attorney and I’m stealing his moves? Well I’m Jesus Christ and I’m electric. Sue me.”

  37. Oh, no you didn’t. That cab is MINE!

  38. “Sorry Jason, but that’s a terrible Brian Regan impression.”

  39. “Why you buggin, man? Ain’t no thing, bro. Chill.”

  40. “Dude…relax, it’s just that some major monsters are breaking out at Mavericks and I gotta jet.”

  41. “It’s called crop-dusting. Get over it.”

  42. I told you, don’t take the “come follow me” so literally.

    Dude, I can still see you.

  43. Look both ways, then follow me.

  44. SCOTUS hears Prop 8 today, DOMA tomorrow – and you give us a caption contest. There are bigger fish to fry.

  45. …and then I was all like screw the patriarchy, I’m getting a latte. You coming bro?

  46. I would like to give my number 40 a second try:

    “You gotta problem with crop-dusting on the Sabbath? Pharisee.”

    Much better.

  47. (For #43) “Dude, everyone else is already standing outside the Supreme Court. Let’s go!”

  48. I think #43 is actually what the lawyer(?) in the picture is saying.

  49. Capozaino says:

    “Sorry, pal. I don’t take cases pro bono.”

  50. #26 and #40. This contest is officially over.

  51. Behold! I am the Way to Tapdance!

  52. .

    Come at me, bro.

  53. Sorry dude. Wrong guy. I’m just grabbing my Kindle and latte out of the car and heading back in for my pedi and hot rock massage.

  54. Last Lemming says:

    By all means, follow me. But understand you’re gonna have to leave a lot more behind than that ratty briefcase.

  55. Because of his great faith, Jesus turned Quasimodo into a businessman as he had always wanted.

  56. For the last time, I’m not Josh Holloway, GET LOST.

  57. Capozaino says:

    “If you look at this sheet on the ground over here, you can see my full inventory of quality ‘Prada’ briefcases.”

  58. “Just setting up for a kickflip here” says the corporate lawyer to the surfer Son of Man.

    “Dude, but where’s your deck bro? Take it up and follow me,” is the Lord’s excellent reply.

  59. “No, I’m not Jesus. A hooker stole all my clothes and left me in the hotel room with just a sheet.”

  60. “You’re seriously not going to come to Cheesecake Factory at the new City Creek to join me in a glass of wine because it’s ‘against your religion’. My first miracle was making wine.”

  61. “Say what? You just step-smeared some dog poop? That’s rough. I got crucified once. True story.”

  62. “H.? Really? You think that’s my middle initial? Idiot.”

  63. Person Man says:

    I’m looking for the COB. This the right way?

  64. “Elder, where is your companion?”

  65. J Scherer says:

    What is with you guys? Everytime I walk down the street, you’re always dropping your stuff and trying to follow me around. I’m not Him! Do I even look like I’m from the middle east? It’s like a white lamanite can’t even leave his house anymore.

  66. “You are right, the non-wearing of socks is inconsistent with a first-class, family oriented shopping center like City Creek Center. I’ll accept your proposition and stay off the premesis.”

  67. LiteralHipster says:

    Suit: Hey, you’re the guy who sold me that sorry excuse for meth!
    Jesus Imitator: Come at me bro!

  68. “Hey, hurry up, man, the tapas bar gets really crowded after 12:30.”

  69. Jesus: “No, the one true mall is this way.”

  70. “I’m sorry I can’t talk now. I’m late for my appointment with Tim Tebow”

  71. Kevin Barney says:

    I can’t respond to the question because for some reason my mouse over function doesn’t seem to be working, so I don’t know what to think…

  72. whizzbang says:

    See what happens when you pass through this portal? sandals, man, sandals

  73. “I said filthy lucre. You got a problem with that?”

  74. “I suggest you back off. I invented the second amendment.”

  75. Suit: “I’m a missionary for Jehovah’s Witness…would you like an issue of this month’s Watchtower, sir?”
    Jesus: (irritation on his face) “Oh, yeah, sure…right after I go donate some blood.”

  76. *#61? Hi-larious!

  77. Duke of Buccleuch says:

    Choose ye this day whom ye shall serve, the corporations or Me.

  78. The man in the suit represents the common man, who is slow to follow the Savior. We see here that the Savior is walking away, indicating that those who fail to follow Him will be left behind. In the briefcase are copies of all of the Supreme Court decisions which trample upon the Gospel in one way or another. The man in the suit has difficulty leaving these behind, and thus is in danger of becoming apostate.

    In the background, we see Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Elisha, and David O’McKay. They frown in disapproval at the common man’s reluctance to follow the Savior. To their left is John the Baptist, although his face is obscured by his hand, representing the facepalm. These can only be seen by those who are truly righteous.

    Peering from around the car, with horns and a slightly red tinge, is President B. Hussein Obama. He represents the 44th President of the United States. He also represents the 43th.

    -J. McNaughton

  79. Jacob H. says:

    Dude. This was the average height 2000 years ago. “If I have told you earthly things, and ye believe not, how shall ye believe, if I tell you of heavenly things”

  80. “Whoa-ho-ho, looks like that Indian food just hit the ol’ digestive tract! …Ah, crap, and right in front of Jesus, too.”

  81. Jacob H. says:

    THIS is how relevé is done.

  82. Yeah, yeah. I know John wrote that I’d be wearing red clothes when I came back. It’s because he didn’t understand me when I said I’d come back driving a red Ford Explorer. It’s right there across the street. See? Now come, follow me and we’ll go grab a bite to eat. I know a great fish and loaves place across town.

  83. With a jolt, the man realized his fly was not only open, but gaping. “Oh, man,” he thought, “I hope no major deities are watching right now….”

  84. “Gah! Sorry, Jesus, you go and I’ll catch up, I just dropped my stupid briefcase on my stupid foot.”

  85. “Dude, were you staring at my butt?”

  86. “Look, for the last time put down that briefcase. This Tai Chi move requires both hands to be free.”

  87. “Walk like this. That outfit won’t be so immodest.”

  88. “Ma’am, you’re ankles are showing.”

    “Oh, sorry, sir. You’re hair is too long.”

  89. #88 – *your*

  90. David O. says:

    “Come, jaywalk with me”

  91. David O. says:

    What do you mean my feet and legs are contorted?…you have got a hunch back!

  92. melodynew says:

    “Seriously!? You’ve never been to City Creek Center? You’ve got to see this place.”

  93. melodynew says:

    “Yes, my legs are transposed. But there’s a parable here. Let’s see if you can discern it.”

  94. melodynew says:

    “Relax, dude. I’ll read your Mormon Sci Fi manuscript later. I’m late for my segment of ‘Why I Stay’ at the Sunstone Symposium.”

  95. melodynew says:

    #45 win.

  96. Bro, do you even heal?


    Come Follow me… But not you. Seriously dude, stop.

    (Not related, but this is my first comment on here, after reading for the last year)

  97. OR “Bro, I gatta spot you again?

  98. “That burning in the bosom you had in 2007? Yeah, that was me telling you credit default swaps were indeed a bad idea.”

  99. Not again! Stupid Zombies!

  100. “Authors of the top two entries will get the opportunity to fight to the death as gladiators in the BCC Death Arena near the center of the earth.”
    I think that this already is the best caption.

  101. Jdawg,

  102. You comin’?

  103. “You’re an occupier, Jesus?!”

  104. El chavo says:

    You put your left foot in… Hey what if that’s really what it’s all about?

  105. Seriously, man, my knee is frozen. Just give me a shove!


    Look, man, if you buy this painting and hang it over your fireplace, who are you, already?

  106. rameumptom says:

    “Not only do I walk on water, but I also am the crossing guard here on Wednesdays.”

  107. MistakenID says:

    Dude, I’m not signing anything! Get it into your head, I’m not Barry Gibb!

  108. MistakenID says:

    Sneaking up from behind? Really?!
    Dude, I can see everything, everywhere, all. the. time!

  109. wreddyornot says:

    Soundness of mind is a snug falsehood.

  110. “Note that there is no door handle on that Ford Explorer. Thus, it must be opened by someone from within when I knock. Otherwise I use my keyfob.”

  111. AlexTheYounger says:

    Look, I’m white ~and~ delightsome. There’s no way I’ll get arrested for jaywalking!

  112. AlexTheYounger says:

    Hurry up! The Lululemon store closes in five minutes and I need to get a refund.

  113. “And . . . red light!”

  114. 113 rofl! Jacob will we get to vote for the best or are you choosing unilaterally?

  115. FarawayChad says:

    “Judge my awkwardly placed feet not, that ye be not judged by your ill fitting suit.”

  116. um, sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave this campus–we have very high dress standards here and you don’t fit in. In fact, the way you’re dressing is distracting to those of us who are trying to live righteously.

  117. In a way, you’re all winners. But in a much more accurate way, Casey and Brooke are the winners, in part because we would all like to see a husband-wife gladiator duel to the death in the BCC Death Arena.

  118. “MItt, Come with Me. I’d like you to meet some of my 47% friends.”

  119. “I dropped a widow’s mite? No problem. I’ve got plenty.”

  120. Capozaino says:

    And he took his extensive business portfolio, and when he had given thanks, he subdivided it among his subsidiary holding companies, saying, “This is my business plan, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” And likewise his last will and testament after they had submitted their quarterly reports, saying, “This trust that is poured over you is the new lifeblood of the company.”

  121. Come, follow me to Panera

  122. hawkgrrrl says:

    Does this dress make me look fat?

%d bloggers like this: