In the Aftermath of the Great BCC/FMH Wars, Times and Seasons Revealed to Be Prussia

Keepapitchinin is Australia.

In the wake of the Bloggernacle-shaking series of wars between the BCC and FMH Empires last February, it has been revealed that Times and Seasons suffered devastating collateral losses.

Several sources have now confirmed that the former behemoth of Mormon blogging dominance has, in fact, been revealed to be Prussia all along.

“It wasn’t a complete surprise,” observed Ray, longtime Bloggernacle participant and observer. “There had been a gradual decline over the last few years. Lots of posts about finance and the economy, several seemingly brilliant but utterly incomprehensible posts by new blogger Adam Miller, and Mormon of the Year was mostly an exercise in predictability. All it was going to take was an armed conflict among other neighboring empires and whammo–Treaty of Versailles.”

Apart from Miller, other recently acquired bloggers like Sam Brunson and Rachel Whipple have written intelligent, thoughtful posts, but in the absence of regional powerhouses like Rosalynde Welch and Kaimi Wenger (both of whom are apparently on indefinite sabbatical) T&S has struggled to maintain relevance.

“Julie, Kent, Dave, Alison, Ben, James, Jonathan are pretty solid,” said Ray. “They’re some of the more consistent and smart bloggers out there, particularly considering how long they’ve been in the former duchy. But where are Dane, Marc, Wilifried, Craig, other Ben, Frank, Rory, and Chancellor Oman? Either rare formal appearances or completely MIA. It was an unsustainable model for an empire.”

Despite repeated requests for an interview, Mormon Newswire was repeatedly told that Chancellor Oman was unavailable for comment. (There is also evidence to suggest that the Chancellor was, in fact, delighted at repeatedly rebuffing these requests, and became a little despondent when we stopped asking). Some analysts have speculated that Chancellor Oman’s absence created the perfect opportunity for seizure of the Bloggernacle Empire, but Chancellor For Life Steve Evans scoffed at these suggestions.

“The fact is, BCC has stood atop the Mormon blogging world since at least 2008,” opined Chancellor Evans from an undisclosed location. “As we see from the recent wars, FMH also has a formidable empire, but T&S was never really a contender in 2013. I mean, look at it. It’s Prussia, for heaven’s sake.”

Few know for certain what the future holds, though there are rumors of wars throughout the Bloggernacle. As of press time, in fact, sources confirm that New Cool Thang was poking Doves and Serpents with a stick, which is sure to provoke an intense though harmless playground brawl.

**Editor’s note: Junior Ganymede blogger Adam Greenwood repeatedly made insistent pleas to be interviewed for this piece but the editors deemed his comments to be irrelevant.