I know what you are thinking. Another article on modesty? Well, stuff your preconceptions in a sack and read on, because I’m about to blow your mind.  About 18 months ago I read an article in the New York Times about a scientific formula to predict celebrity breakups.  Here are the factors that correlated in their prediction model:
- Age at time of marriage. The younger they are (based on the spouses’ combined age), the more often they break up. 
- Marital history. 
- Length of courtship. The shorter the courtship or more “whirlwind” the romance, the more likely the couple would eventually split. 
- Relative fame of husband and wife. This one was tricky to gauge as celebrity careers are usually in a state of ascent or descent. Apparently, the amount of fame was less of a predictor than the quality of the fame. As a result, this measure was replaced with:
- NYT/Tabloid ratio. The statisticians normalized the news coverage (or “fame”) by comparing the ratio of “legitimate” news coverage (New York Times) to “sensationalistic” news coverage (tabloids). 
- Sex symbol factor. This was determined by googling the wife’s name and looking at the first five images returned and counting how many were scantily clad or naked.  The less clothing, the higher the risk of divorce. Interestingly, this was not similarly true for husbands.  At least one expert theorized that this was because women initiate 70% of breakups, so their behavior is more predictive.  Also, female celebrities who choose to portray themselves as sex symbols have a higher rate of narcissism, and narcissists (of both sexes) feel entitled to have sex with anyone they choose.  One psychologist cited that narcissistic female celebrities were often caught between feelings of grandiosity and feelings of worthlessness, creating a situation in which they required sexual attention to maintain self esteem. 
So, is modesty valuable because its inverse correlates with female narcissism and infidelity? Even if it correlates, is it really possible to reverse engineer narcissism through modesty guidelines? Can infidelity-prone women stay on the straight and narrow if they simply cover up?  Of course, this doesn’t mean that accidentally immodest women are narcissists or prone to infidelity. The celebrity breakup is predicted by female narcissism (perhaps coupled with the opportunity that comes with fame). 
On the other hand, maybe it is possible to reverse engineer fidelity, to create a sort of mental chastity belt, a cold shower for the mind. 
An interesting study was published on the effect clothing has, not on people around us, but on the wearer’s own mental state. The effect was called enclothed cognition.  The study involved participants doing detail-oriented work. To evaluate the impact of clothing, some did the work in their regular clothes while others were told to don a lab coat. Those in lab coats made half as many errors as their plain clothes counterparts. The study further evaluated the effect of seeing a lab coat, then performing the work in one’s own regular clothes (no improvement in results). Another group was instructed to wear the lab coat, but it was referred to as a painter’s coat (there was also no benefit from this). The only benefit occurred when the person identified the coat as a lab coat (symbolic of meticulous research techniques) and when the person then wore the symbolic clothing; like Superman taking off his glasses and putting on a red cape, this transformed the test subjects into more careful researchers. 
Which brings us back to modesty. The research on enclothed cognition suggests that modest clothing would only curb immoral behavior if the wearer believed the modest clothing to be symbolic of moral behavior. Ergo, when the person wears it, s/he feels magically more moral.  Does this mean that the slogan “modest is hottest” reduces or eliminates the symbolic benefit (the cognition) of modest clothing?  Does enclothed cognition explain how garments are a protection to the wearer? Does it explain how wearing a white shirt keeps the priesthood focused on performing their duty? 
- Does female immodesty that is not related to narcissism correlate with infidelity?
- Do modesty guidelines create an attitude of virtue and fidelity? Do garments? Is that their primary protection and function?
- Are slogans like “modest is hottest” helpful in making modesty seem cool? Or does it undermine the effectiveness of modesty by associating it with narcissism?
 OK, probably not, but read on anyway.
 Believe it or not, it was more complex than celebrity + celebrity = future divorce.
 This doesn’t necessarily imply causation as it’s possible that celebrities who are prone to divorce are also prone to marrying young (vs. the other way around, those flibbertigibbets), but a big age gap gives the relationship a steadying influence, even if it is kind of gross.
 Caveat emptor all who marry Liz Taylor! Even you, Richard Burton.
 Seems like a no-brainer, especially since most celebs aren’t leaping into marriage to avoid breaking the law of chastity like some people I could name.
 Since tabloids are more gossip-oriented, coverage from those sources correlates with salacious rumors, drug use, infidelity, rehab, public arguing, drunken racist rants, forgetting to wear underwear to the Oscars, hitting bellboys with a telephone, eating refried beans straight out of the can, or visible cellulite at the beach. Drivel drives divorce.
 Apparently, this is scientific research.
 Because nobody wants to look at that.
 One word: Skyler. Also, sounds like “one researcher” is still bitter over a breakup.
 Newt Gingrich *cough, cough* 
 I’m ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille.
 Or will that just give them one more article of clothing to remove in the infidelity process?
 Contrast this exhibitionism with your garden variety so-called immodesty of church-going LDS women that is often the result of gaining a few pounds, and you can easily see the difference.
 Or libidinal brain freeze, if you will.
 Which seems like something Daffy Duck should say.
 But sadly, not into superheroes.
 Similar to how marshmallow bits make Lucky Charms taste “magically delicious.”
 Of course “Modest is less narcissistic and statistically less likely to divorce” is not nearly as catchy.
 And yet still not being able to recite those sacrament prayers right on the first try. Enclothed cognition will only get you so far I guess.