March Madness – Ancient Scripture Region

We’re back today with Round 1 in the Ancient Scripture Region, but first let’s recap the action from yesterday’s Modern Mormon Prophets region.

There were really no major surprises in the first round here. As expected, President Monson had no problems overcoming his bye week, and the Tri-DarkHorse-umvirate of Uchtdorf, Holland, and Eyring all walked away with landslide victories.  In fact, the only relatively close matches involved the victorious Elder Oaks (over Elder Bednar), Elder Nelson (over Elder Cook), and, in a nod to pirates everywhere, Elder L. Tom Perry (over Elder Christofferson).

Now, on to the Ancient Scriptures Region. A couple of notes:

  • Voting closes in 24 hours.
  • Seeds have been assigned directly via capital-R Revelation.
  • Early Mormonism, and False Prophets regions are forthcoming.
  • Relevant questions for your consideration include:
    1. Who is more prophetic?
    2. Who is more likely to sell essential oils?
    3. Who has the biggest book?

Ancient Scriptures Region


  1. Wow, the last two (Alma vs. Alma, Melch vs. Moses) are tough pairings.

  2. Scott B. says:

    A lot of people think that Melchizedek should have been a higher seed, but the fact is, his TPI (Total Pages Index) is shockingly low. Frankly, I think his inclusion in the field at all is a gift from the committee.

  3. This region is seeded for some major upsets

  4. Doug Hudson says:

    I suspect votes for Melchizedek are based more on who people think he really was (is?), than on his actual TPI.

    Either that, or the fact that he has an awesome name.

  5. The essential oil criteria is invalid — that’s a alternative religion.

  6. Doug Hudson says:

    Also, where the heck are Elijah and Elisha? Those guys were awesome. Elijah calling down the fire on the Ba’alites and going to heaven in a flaming chariot, Elisha with the she-bears (protip: never make fun of a Prophet’s bald spot).

  7. HokieKate says:

    Esther, really? Yes, it’s Purim this week, but the whole book of Esther doesn’t even mention God. I’d say Anna is more of a prophet.

  8. Doug Hudson,
    The system is flawed, yes. We were required to give relatively equal treatment to various books of canon, even though certain books obvs demonstrated far more prophetic talent against far more skilled competition. But that’s just how it goes sometimes.

  9. “Seeds have been assigned directly via capital-R Revelation.” Does this mean complaints are forwarded to local leaders?

  10. Leonard R says:

    The Paul v. John the Beloved was a tough vote.

  11. Doug Hudson says:

    Scott B., I was just being goofy. I’m not sure that making Ba’al priest flambe or unleashing bears on teenage punks are actually the marks of a great prophet.

    Is Balaam going to be in the False Prophets section? Or was he more of a “just didn’t listen” prophet?

  12. The field for False Prophets is intensely competitive, but no spoilers just yet.

  13. Hey, where is the women’s bracket? I can wait to see Team Emma vs. Team Eliza.

  14. I’m writing in Jael. She’ll definitely nail it.

  15. Yeah, Paul is more directly responsible for the way Christ is thought about and worshipped today, but the Apocalypse is more influential on popular culture and even many religious belief systems. Melchizedek was pretty cool, but he didn’t turn rods into serpents.

  16. Leonard R. says:

    I was actually think of the Gospel of John rather than Revelation. It’s opening is just beyond beautiful. And the prayer in chapter 17 and it hard to top.

    Which isn’t to say the Apocalypse isn’t some hard-core awesome symbolism/imagery.

  17. There seems to have been an extreme bias toward the women in this region. Watch out for future rounds.

  18. Scott B. says:

    I don’t know that you can call beating Noah by 6 votes an “extreme” bias, can you? TBH, I thought she’d win in a landslide.

    Maybe if she had been up against Raphael instead…

  19. Scott B. says:

    That said, I was surprised by at least 4 of the 8 outcomes. I am a poor predictor, it seems!

  20. That Esther was even in the game, let alone beat 3rd Nephi,(honestly, a guy granted the sealing power, who seals the heavens like Elijah, who was “having many revelations daily”), makes Rob’s point all by itself. Either that, or people ignored my admonition to disregard the “most likely to sell essential oils’ criteria.

  21. MDearest says:

    2 of 8 wins are women = extreme bias for women. (This is a joke, not a threadjack)

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