Mormon March Madness – Elite 8

Many were called, and 8 were chosen. But only 4 get to keep playing.

The win-loss results of the Sweet 16 vote were largely unsurprising, with possibly the exception of Moses falling to Enoch and Hyrum losing to Emma. However, the magnitude of some victories was a bit shocking to me–especially the all-1st Presidency match-up between Uchtdorf-Eyring, where the 2nd Counselor took 85% of the vote. Hal, we love you still!

For Modern Mormon Prophets Region, two men who have won handily in every match so far will finally meet–it’s Elder Holland vs. President Uchtdorf, and something’s gotta give. In the Ancient Scripture Region, Father Adam and Moses gave way to John the Beloved and Enoch, so it’s New Testament vs. Old Testament, with only an arbitrary click of your mouse to determine who is better.

Over in the Early Mormonism Region, my hopes for an all-female regional final were dashed, as Brother Joseph topped Eliza R. Snow. Similarly, any dreams of brother-vs-brother final went the way of all the Earth when Emma stomped Hyrum firmly under her boot. So, in the end, we get what we probably needed: Joseph and Emma in one final battle.

In the False Prophets Region, Options were Weighed; Votes were Cast; A Statement was Made: Jon McNaughton beat Satan. Having put down the master himself, surely our much maligned Painter of Tripe can overcome Satan’s wussy henchmen, the Priests of Baal?

Voting is open until Sunday, and the Final Four vote begins on Monday, where we will see Modern Mormon Prophets face off against Ancient Scripture, and Early Mormonism against False Prophets.




  1. Scott, this series of posts has made me fall in love with BCC all over again. Like 2004 in love.

  2. Anxiety is heightened on both sides of the veil, no doubt.

  3. Thanks Karen. I’m glad you’re enjoying it!

  4. Priests of Baal-Jon McNaughton is the 1992 Duke-Kentucky of this bracket. One of McNaughton’s characters will step on a priest during the game, not get ejected and then hit a game-winning buzzer-beater.

  5. Jon McNaughton will paint a picture of the Priests of Baal, thereby trapping their souls in the canvas, and stripping them of all their power! (Naturally, the priests will be worshipping a Muslim from Kenya who likes to dance on the constitution.)

  6. Emma fights dirty.

  7. Someone needs to provide context for the Duke/Kentucky reference above.

  8. Emma has to fight dirty. Can’t sex as a weapon. hmm.

  9. Mark my words: If Emma jumps out to an early lead, Joseph will receive a revelation telling her to be patient and support her husband in all things, and she’ll concede the victory.

  10. I know Emma’s out there agitating for votes! Bring it.

  11. I’m especially intrigued by the Joseph vs. Emma matchup. It sounds so apocalyptic, like “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his [wife], and a [woman] against her [husband] . . . and one’s foes will be members of one’s own household.”

  12. The Priests of Baal are posers, lucky to have gotten this far, but they are done. McNaughton is also about due for being bound for a 1000 years in the next round, though. Perhaps, as a consolation prize McNaughton can be commissioned to paint a group portrait of the BCC permas?

  13. I would love to see the McNaughton mouseover of the BCC permas–explaining the “symbolism” in each of our portraits. “I symbolically painted Steve Evans as the devil, because Steve Evans is the devil. I symbolically painted Karen H. as a grasping feminist who hates children, because Karen H. is a grasping feminist who hates children. I symbolically painted Scott B. as an irreverent hyena, because he is an irreverent hyena. I painted Matsby symbolically setting fire to my sacred works of art, because Matsby set fire to my works of art.”

  14. Scott B. says:


  15. Karen, I would *love* to see such a thing! Even your description has me in stitches!

  16. Jennifer in GA says:

    This has been my most favorite March Madness bracket ever.

    Karen H, you are KILLING me. LOLOLOLOL

  17. Thank you, queuno

  18. MDearest says:

    Who knew bracketry could be so much fun! And angsty! Joseph against Emma? Ew. And McNaughton v the Priests of Baal — who cares? He needs to go away. Here’s some brackets that will rinse him from your brain, and bring some angst of their own:

  19. Emma should have “thrown Hyrum down the stairs” :)

  20. so, I went to look at Jon McNaughton’s website, because I was unfamiliar with his work, and I came back here to shake the dust off my feet, but these comments redeemed BCC. (Just to clarify: ignorance is indeed bliss)

  21. Leonard R. says:

    The OP of this stage was brilliant. And the preceding comments did not disappoint. What a great way to start the day.

  22. Mike R.M. says:

    I’m confused how the winner of the false prophets region will go up against an actual prophet? What’s the voting criteria there?

  23. Mike R.M. says:

    Although if the priest of Baal advance, I guess we have a precedent of how that could go. Then we just have to decide if their opponent is as good as Elijah.

  24. Scott B. says:

    Mike R.M.,

    I’m confused how the winner of the false prophets region will go up against an actual prophet? What’s the voting criteria there?

    What’s confusing? What part of arbitrary decision making on my part is hard to grok? :)

  25. And McNaughton seals it with a new revelation on the priesthood!

    Fro his website via the SLT:

    “I wanted to paint an image that for the *first time reveals* the relationship between Scouting and the [LDS Church’s all-male] priesthood,” McNaughton writes on his website.

    In the center of the group is Boy Scout founder Robert Baden-Powell with current LDS Church President Thomas S. Monson, a longtime advocate of Scouting, to his right. The two groups began their partnership in 1913.

    “Each log represents the contributions of these men as President Monson reaches out to lay his log on the fire,” McNaughton writes. “It is not any ordinary fire; it illuminates, and it does not burn. The purpose of Scouting is not only to develop honorable young men, but to prepare valiant priesthood holders.” (emphasis mine)

    Priests of Baal have no chance!

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