Williamses, Ranked

Two (2) authoritative rankings in one week? Events over the past few days (i.e., we both happened to have 20 minutes free) have mandated that we do so, even at risk of shark-jumping accusations from our colleague by john f. This time, Steve and I settle a controversial topic that has plagued society for years: Who are the best Williamses?

ash williams

As always, these rankings are authoritative.

  1. Brian
  2. Billy Dee
  3. Ted
  4. -Sonoma
  5. Terry Tempest
  6. Frederick G.
  7. Robin
  8. Hank
  9. Smash
  10. Ash

[1] Honorable Mentions


  1. This list is wrong.

    You forgot William Law.

  2. WillamS, Mark. C’mon, it’s like you’re not even paying attention.

  3. I hate to argue with authoritative rankings, but you’re missing John. I mean, just between the theme from Jaws and the “Imperial March” he has to be top-10.

  4. You also forgot Billy Williams, 1961 Rookie of the Year, long-time Cubs outfielder. And, who on earth are Smash and Ash Williams. I don’t think people count if you have to Google them to.

  5. You also forgot Tennessee Williams. Total losers.

  6. Hank Jr.????? Come on already

  7. shark, thou art jumpt

  8. No Roger?

  9. Clark Goble says:

    No William Bonney? (Billy the Kid)

  10. What the h, you guys? Nice male-centric list…… Not even a mention of the Williams Sisters? This list is dead to me.

  11. John Mansfield says:

    They left out the Williams F107, so it’s not a male-centric list.

  12. No Sherwin?

    No College? (and I thought this was a left leaning rag – turn in your liberal cards now)

    No ev? (as in the guy who made blogging platforms explode and created twitter? – he’s the godfather of the bloggernacle!)

    No Pharrell? (men in strange hats across the land are no longer happy)

    No Jessica? (she’d do a bang up job replacing Jon Stewart)

    No Barry? (Come on, how more Mormon does it get than the Brady Bunch?)

    No Hosea? (civil rights much?)

    How is it even possible you ignored Esther?!

    No shark jumpt, more like took a head dive before even reaching the ramp…

  13. Billy Dee #9? I don’t even know you people anymore.

  14. Maybe you guys are unclear about what “authoritative” means.

  15. The presence of Hank Jr, but not Hank 3 is embarrassing.

  16. This list would not make the top ten list of your top ten lists even if you only had 9 others.

  17. You guys are more like the scribes, when it comes to authoritative.

  18. I’m with Kristine A: when I saw the title, my only thought was “Where in the top 3 is Serena going to be?”

  19. Serena made the Honorable Mentions list, which seems terrible to me now in retrospect.

    Unfortunately, Steve and I neither seek nor offer apologies for our authoritative rankings.

  20. I stand by the list, in part because it is authoritative. You all would be wise to do the same.

  21. Not to pile on, but I agree with Mary Ann, or in other words, all yous guys would have been clapped in irons a decade ago and spent the intervening years in prison if it weren’t for good ol’ Roger.

  22. The list contains Frederick G. Thus, I conclude that, though it is imperfect and clearly the work of man, it is inspired.

  23. Earlier criticism aside, Ash is the clear #1

  24. Meeting Billy Dee at a comic book convention and getting his autograph on a photo of him in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon is one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. He was wearing a gold chain with a large medallion on it…..it was the best.

  25. Steve and Scott: the only things you guys are authoritative over are jack and $#|+ and jack just left town.

  26. Definitively places you in age, race and educational leanings. Can’t say it’s authoritative in may other ways.

  27. Personally, I would have ranked the Hater’s Guide to the Williams-Sonoma Catalog ahead of actual Williams-Sonoma. And no, it doesn’t “count” as part of Williams-Sonoma, obvs.

  28. Left Field says:

    What does it say about my age, race, and educational leanings that without looking them up, I had no idea who Billy Dee, -Sonoma, Smash, Ash, Anson, and Remo were?

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