Things the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Should Not Wear, Ranked

Our coverage of General Conference has been spectacular over the past week, though definitely a bit different than the open threads we’ve hosted in years past. Admittedly, Steve and I found ourselves actually missing the commentary on the outfit selections for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir that were usually found in our GC open threads. Fortunately, we used this as our inspiration for this week’s rankings.


As always, these rankings are authoritative.

  1. Cheeseheads
  2. Birthday suits
  3. “I’m With Stupid” t-shirts
  4. Horse head masks
  5. Green Man lycra bodysuits
  6. Hulk-buster Armor
  7. Facial hair (men)
  8. Anonymous masks
  9. Facial hair (women)
  10. Whatever it is they wore that time when no one defended the family


  1. You forgot “Meat dresses,” but good list anyway.

  2. Mark Brown says:

    Why all the hate on Green Bay?

  3. @Jenny – Or most everything Lady Gaga has worn in public.

  4. My sister-in-law is in that picture. Kinda glad she’s not wearing a horse head.

  5. Scott B. says:

    What are “meat dresses,” Jenny?

  6. Jenny G says:

    @Jenny …Except in times of wardrobe famine…

  7. What is a meat dress??? What is a MEAT DRESS?!?!

  8. In the spring we’d make meat helmets.

  9. Scott B. says:

    Oh, THAT meat dress. I thought (hoped?) you were saying that there was some MoTab-specific outfit that makes women look like pork chops or something.

  10. But only pork chops with cream of mushroom soup, of course.

  11. When my dad was in the MoTab, he said there was one particular dress the women hated – they called it “the sausage dress”

  12. Because apparently it felt like wearing a sausage casing. (Sorry, hit ‘Post’ too soon)

  13. I think the Hulk-buster Armor deserves another look.

  14. Green lycra suit looks slimming but how can we tell if she’s wearing only one pair of earrings? I’ll just judge her anyway.

  15. “I’m With Stupid” t-shirts

    That made my day. Thank you.

  16. Lonicera says:

    If they ever decide to wear anonymous masks for one of their shows, I’ll personally go to Utah and apply to join the choir.

  17. @Scott B., I can’t imagine a dress NOT made of meat that would make a woman look much more like a porkchop than the dresses the ladies are already wearing in the picture in your post.

  18. larryco_ says:

    Yarmulkes, skinny jeans, tongue-piercing jewels, and Blue Man face paint.

  19. Mark Brown asks, Why all the hate on Green Bay?

    If you have to ask, you wouldn’t understand. ;)

  20. Scott B. says:

    Trivia Fact:
    The Green Man lycra suits were used for a short period of time in the BYU Men’s Chorus, but there were a bunch of letters to the editor in the Daily Universe about how they created living pornography.

  21. I’m very grateful Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader outfits did not make the list. Because, imagine.

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