Things That Can Be Explained In The Following Six Important Principles, Ranked

Over the past few years, it seems like there are a lot of talks in GC in which the speaker introduces some specific challenge to living the gospel and then proposes a numbered list of principles to help explain how we can overcome said challenge. Steve and I were talking about this and concluded that there are still some things that need to be explained in this fashion.

First

As always, these rankings are authoritative.

  1. Making delicious smoothies in the comfort of your own home
  2. The White Handbook pages on sleeping arrangements for missionaries
  3. Exfoliation
  4. Heating up a Pop-Tart
  5. Why your college basketball team sucks
  6. Tearing a slice of stale, crumbly white sandwich bread into 24 pieces for the congregation
  7. What exactly happened at the end of Mulholland Drive
  8. Why you were not accepted to BYU-Idaho
  9. The fact that you don’t have any friends or job prospects
  10. Defending the family

Comments

  1. What about Game of Thrones? Or in LDS-parlance, Game of Puffy Red Chairs.

  2. Scott, I am sure you have done much research to back your claim that its only been the last few years that these lists are used. Can you provide a source link?

  3. Well Sister Oscarson almost did number one in her General Conference talks, she made a list of principles to defend in the family proclamation. But she didn’t label the principal of all the principles, nor did she go in ranking order.

  4. Wait–there are people who BYU-I doesn’t accept?

    Oh. Yes, there are. Fewer than half of one percent of BYU-I applicants are not admitted. http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/byu-idaho-1625

  5. SuHwak–

    Our research methods and results are proprietary and non-public, but we feel certain that technology has improved and expanded the use of visuals in GC, and the ubiquitous use of powerpoint is also related.

  6. Steve G. says:

    Scott the synchronicity displayed here at BCC is incredible. I read this post and the superfan post at different times via links from my feedreader, but when I hit the mainpage and saw both blog post images one after the other, I knew this could only be the result of careful coordination on your part. Were I the sort to rank things authoritatively, I’d rank you #1.

    Also #9 made me chuckle as it reminded me of an argument I once had with another Elder about whether couple missionaries could sleep in the same bed since the white handbook forbade it.

  7. Gilbert & Sullivan says:

    My companion and I once discussed taking a bed and placing it in the doorway between the bedroom and the living/dining/kitchen so that we could break two rules at once: sleeping in the same bed in separate rooms.

  8. Once before an apartment inspection my husband and his companion took their twin beds and pushed them together.

  9. Well since you included #4, I’d copyright the entire list. If David Lynch sees this, he’ll use it as a story board for Mullholand Dr. part II.

  10. TiredJack says:

    Upon entering the mission field I made a mental list of the rules I would probably break at some point and another of the rules that I wouldn’t, #9 being on the latter just due to the absurdity. Naturally it ended up being the first one I “broke” when I woke up at 2 am my first night and found myself spooning with a Mexican…

  11. I prefer stale sacramental bread to seeing the whorls and loops of the priest’s fingerprints imprinted all over the smushed bread. I’m sure his hands are spotless too. Or bathed in the antibacterial slime that’s bought in Costco size containers under the altar. I don’t need probiotics…I take the sacrament every week!

  12. I dont understand why everyone is making “defending the family” such a divisive issue. Do people really think the apostles dont know there’s hardship and struggle in living the ideal? Maybe instead of downplaying the issue the apostles are bringing up we look with a little faith to understand what they are trying to say.