Houses, Ranked

Scott: some quality in here
Steve: it’s perhaps better than the ranking we have up now!
Scott: easily!
Steve: who cares, let’s post another one right now.
Scott: i’ll load it up


As always, these rankings are authoritative.

  1. Crowded
  2. Columbia
  3. Haunted
  4. The Holy, of
  5. Toll
  6. Harkonnen
  7. Prayer, fasting, faith, learning, glory, order, God (tie)
  8. Glass
  9. Grandmother’s
  10. Pain, of
  11. Doll
  12. Cards, of
  13. Pancakes (International), of
  14. The Dead, of
  15. M.D.
  16. Lion
  17. Lannister
  18. the Rising Sun, of
  19. Bratwurst (Haus)
  20. Random
  21. Party, 3
  22. Full
  23. burnin’downthe
  24. Representatives, of
  25. Defending the Family
  26. Waffle


  1. Great, now there’s one more thing we have to protect from the world (hattip: underarmour). But seriously, no House of Blues? Or White House? Or Casa Rosada?

  2. Scott B. says:

    “But seriously, no House of Blues? Or White House? Or Casa Rosada?”

    Well, do you see them on the list or not?

  3. House of Blues sucks.

    Everyone knows that the White House is terrible.

    Casa Rosada doesn’t even have the letter H in it.

  4. Also missing the House of Israel, the Beehive House, the Open House, House Dressing, and The House of the Lord

  5. Clark Goble says:

    Little Pink Houses for Me and You.

  6. Gryffindor?

  7. Beehive? And its rolls?

  8. Honestly, I can’t take this seriously if the list doesn’t have Bauhaus. It even has a Mormon angle, what with Bela Lugosi’s proxy work.

  9. I’m with Ben P on the HP reference. Although Ravenclaw is where it’s at tho. That must be #25

  10. Slytherin > Gryffindor. Sorry Lions but you’re just too namby-pamby.

  11. Chad Too says:

    Ahem. The best hash browns on the PLANET come from Waffle House. I’m a covered, chunked, and capped guy myself.

  12. it's a series of tubes says:

    I think #4 must be disqualified as it is plural. Unfair to gang up. Also, #10 deserves to jump around a few spots upward.

  13. J. Stapley says:

    Atraides > Harkonnen

  14. Martin James says:

    The smell of old people’s

  15. Jennifer in GA says:

    WTH? Why the Waffle House diss, yo?

  16. Our.

  17. I should say – Our in the middle, of. (our street),

  18. Houses of Healing you jerks

  19. Scott B. says:

    Never before has the statement of authoritativeness been so thoroughly disregarded as in this thread.

  20. That’s because none of your previous lists so thoroughly lacked it, Scott.

  21. Hey now, hey now…..great list.

    Can’t wait to see your ranking of Dens (Iniquity, of)

  22. (Insert appropriately self-mocking/sarcastic emoticon here, of course.)

  23. Scott B. says:

    Russell is henceforth commanded to sit in the corner, alone, for the next 30 minutes.

  24. Scott, that’s how Russell usually sits anyways.

  25. Mark Brown says:

    When it comes to authoritative, I’ll go with the words in red in the New Testament. Therefore:

    divided against itself
    built upon a rock

    Also, ill repute, of.

  26. Little House on the Prairie is notably absent.

  27. Addam Swapp says:

    Where does Corrections Officer Fred House rank? His rank was lieutenant, and he was an authority where I was locked up (before my time, of course), but that’s not the same thing as an authoritative ranking.

  28. OMG, I just got the Dune reference. I haven’t felt this aware of my own nerdery in a long time. I read that when I was 15. Mormons and sci-fi. I am convinced we like it so much because it doesn’t even sound that far fetched…

  29. There must be two lists. Real. Fake.

  30. Is like the eclipses mean nothing…

  31. Left Field says:

    Very pleased to see that “that Ruth built” didn’t make the list. Go Orioles!

    134. Bird
    150. Gardo
    180. Lords, of
    182. Endowment
    200. Nauvoo

  32. it's a series of tubes says:

    Addam Swapp says:

    Oh hai Addam! Haven’t seen you at the Lemon family reunions for a long time! How’s parole?

  33. Authority isn’t all it is cracked up to be. Never has been.

  34. Chatham (Rules)

  35. rameumptom says:

    Authority does not connote good taste. Nor does it denote completeness.

  36. No Gryffindor?? The only thing the post gets right is not including Cider House Rules. I’m embarrassed that I even remember the existence and title.

  37. Also missing:

    House, (see Hugh Laurie)

  38. Ryan Mullen says:

    rah, see #15.

  39. Like Tracy said, have you all who are objecting not taken note of the ellipses?

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