The Future of Mormon Cinema–A Decade Ago

I’m in the middle of a move right now, and as part of my organizing, I came across some notes from 2003 where I had written my jokes from MC’ing a singles ward talent show.  One of my bits was to take current t.v. and movie titles and mormonize them.

10:  How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days >>>How to Lose Your BYU Guy in 10 Hours

9:  In Austria the hills are alive with the sound of music>>>In sacrament meeting, even the old people are awake with the sound of the ward choir

8:  Primary Colors>>>Rated G Primary Colors

7:  Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place>>>Two Girls, a Guy, and a Pizza Place in Colorado City

6:  Not Another Teen Movie>>>Not Another Primary Program

5:  CSI–Crime Scene Investigations>>>FPRI–Faith Promoting Rumor Investigations

4:  Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon>>>Sleeping Bishop, Fidgeting Deacon

3:  Spiderman>>>Sacrament Man (The saga of one man’s quest to be on time to pass the sacrament)

2:  My Big Fat Greek Wedding>>>My Big Fat Pregnant Mother at my Mormon Wedding

1:  Star Trek:  To Boldly Go Where No One Has Gone Before>>>Pioneer Trek:  You Hope You Go Where No One Has Gone Before.


Okay, frankly, some hits and misses.  So let’s do an update.  Post your cheeky Mormon t.v. and movie titles in the comments.


  1. Michael Austin says:

    “The Godfather” >>>”The Gollyfather”

  2. “The Fasting and the Furious”

  3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Deacons

  4. Night of the Resurrected Dead.

  5. Kevin Barney says:

    “All About Eve”—>”All About Adam”

  6. Kevin Barney says:

    “12 Angry Men”—>”12 Lackey High Councilors”

  7. Kevin Barney says:

    “The Resin Grapes of Wrath.”

  8. Kevin Barney says:

    “Fifty Shades of Gray Suits and Burgundy Ties.”

  9. Karen H. says:

    Avengers: Age of Danites

    Pitch Good Enough for Sacrament Meeting

  10. Kevin Barney says:

    “Kingsman: The Secret Service”—> “King-Men: Desirous That Pahoran Should Be Dethroned from the Judgment-Seat.”

  11. “Look Who’s Coming to a Dinner Appointment”

  12. Karen H. says:

    You guys are completely cracking me up. I think All about Adam is the current winner…..come on commenters….take on Kevin Barney!!!

  13. “Star Trek”>>>”Hie to Kolob”

  14. “27 Modest Dresses”

  15. “The Adversary Wears Prada”

  16. “Seven Brides for One Brother”

  17. “There Will Be Blood Atonement”

  18. “Three Nephites and a Baby”

  19. Modestly Attired Gun

  20. Death Wish 2 – High Council Sunday

  21. “God Knows What You Did Last Summer”

  22. Secondjeff says:

    The Good, the Bad and the Sweet Spirit

  23. X-Men -> M-Men

  24. Noah -> Gabriel

  25. Nightmare on Elm Street -> Delivering Fast Offerings on Elm Street

  26. The Theory of Everything -> King Follett Discourse

  27. Guardians of the Galaxy -> Guardians of Virtue

  28. The Hunger Games: Fast Sunday

  29. The Fault in Our Stars -> The Fault in Our Wasatch

  30. How to Train a Dragon -> How to Train a Deacon

  31. Gone Girl: Waiting for Your Missionary

  32. Oblivion -> Sunday School

  33. Karen H. says:

    For once, I wish we had those dumb thumbs up buttons…..

  34. Kokaubeam Wars.

  35. doug forbes says:

    My book made into a movie

  36. Gilgamesh says:

    Iron-rod Man

  37. Game of Red Velvet Arm Chairs

  38. This is awful and I refuse to play.

  39. It can’t end like this gst. It just can’t.

  40. Friends Without Benefits

    The Truman Madson Show

    The Waking of Ted Divine – High Councilor

  41. Elder PaulBluehart, Temple Square Security Cop

  42. Kevin Barney says:

    “The Grand Hotel Utah.”

  43. Kevin Barney says:

    “Guardians of Virtue of the Galaxy.”

  44. Kevin Barney says:

    “The Imitation Game–Family Home Evening Edition.”

  45. Kevin Barney says:

    “The Hunger Games: Dawn of Fast Sunday.”

  46. Kevin Barney says:

    “12 Years a Nursery Worker.”

  47. Kevin Barney says:

    “Dallas Food Storage Buyers Club.”

  48. Melinda Willden says:

    “Singin’ in the Moisture”

  49. Reproving-Betimes-With-Sharpness Max

  50. Be Ye Therefore Pitch Perfect

  51. The Rocky Horror Roadshow

  52. Observer says:

    Kolob Trek

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