As a new semi-regular feature at BCC, we’ll answer questions from our readers. Have a question you want us to answer? Send us an email!
What’s the best Book of Mormon name to give a kid? I think if you are going to do a BOM name you’ve got to stick with Nephi. That makes it easier for everyone to hate you.
Scott B: As a general rule, you should not name your children something that will embarrass them if a) they live around other Mormons (e.g., Lemuel), b) they don’t live around other Mormons (e.g., Mormon), c) is difficult to pronounce (e.g., Amlici), or d) they will hate if they end up leaving the church. Assuming that people like John the Revelator and Isaiah don’t count, this leaves the following acceptable names from the Book of Mormon: Jacob, Sam, Enos (barely), Jarom, Sariah, and Shiz. That’s it. Everything else is off-limits unless you’re fitting them with ankle-bracelets that will confine them Pleasant Grove for the rest of their lives.
Is it a party foul to take the gluten-free sacrament bread option when you have no such dietary restrictions? What if I’m really in the mood for rice cake one day?
Scott B: I’ll answer your question with another question: Is it a party foul to use the wheelchair-access stall in a restroom when you don’t have a wheelchair?
(Seriously–I need an answer to this question.)
What’s the grossest part of the Book of Mormon? The one-stroke scalping of Zerahemnah by Captain Moroni? Shiz, beheaded, struggling for breath? Also, what is the grossest book of scripture, taken as a whole? Gotta be the Old Testament, right?
Steve: Old Testament wins for grossest book of Scripture, hands down. Between the genocides, rapes, incest and infant sacrifice it’s just hard to beat. That said, the Book of Mormon is a strong second place. Post-decapitation Shiz wins, though the beheading of Laban is a good contender. Also, the stripling warriors: last time I checked, the military use of children wasn’t something to be lauded. Helaman was a war criminal.
Is it necessary to cover up while nursing in the mother’s room?
Steve: Is it ever necessary to cover up while nursing? We’re talking about covering your top, right? I’ve never nursed but I presume you keep your pants on for that part. If you’re in the mother’s room, though, I bet you could just take off all your clothes and you’d be fine. That’s how we roll in the father’s room.
Giving talks from ipads: acceptable or annoying?
Scott B: Giving a talk from an iPad is the ultimate form of mailing it in, and calls into question the Integrity of the Game. How do we know that you’re not just reading a blog post from Times & Seasons? Correlation is meant to keep that garbage out! As in all areas of life, we need to be wary of the always-effective Slippery Slope argument. If people are allowed to give talks from iPads, it won’t be long before people stop writing talks altogether and simply stand up at the podium, whip out their phones, search for something on LDS.org while relating a HILARIOUS story about what they said when the bishopric called and asked them to speak, and start reading the results to us. It’s just a hop, skip, and a jump from that to a life of promiscuity, drugs, and upper-calf-length skirts on the BYU-Idaho campus. Is it possible that the only difference between reading a talk on an iPad and what happens now is hitting the Print button at home? Yes. But I demand that people at least pretend to have written a talk. But for Sunday school–sure, why not?
I was at a friend’s house for dinner. My friend is a non-member. For dessert, my friend served this dessert I’d never heard of but it looked great. I take a big spoonful and immediately after I put it in my mouth I realize that this dessert is FULL of alcohol. I smoosh it in my cheeks and ultimately swallow it down while attempting to pray away the alcohol. But then I was stuck with the rest of the dessert. What should I have done? I’ll tell you what I did: I ate the whole thing.
Food Items Which Might Break The Word of Wisdom Depending on How Conservative You Are About It, Ranked
As always, these rankings are authoritative.
- Rum-raisin ice cream
- Flambé desserts
- Saturday Evening Adult Session of Stake Conference
- Vanilla extract
- Jack Daniel’s BBQ sauce
- Jell-O shots
- Expired Sunny Delight
- Hot chocolate
- Steak (in summer)
- Defending the Family
- Jamocha shake