Our semi-regular feature at BCC, in which Scott and Steve answer questions from our readers and then Rank stuff. Have a question you want us to answer? Send us an email!
How does a stake president get picked?
Well, see they’ve got this smooth, brown stone…
To pick the new SP, a GA comes and interviews the outgoing SP, high council, and all bishops. Some of them have nifty forms they use to collect recommendations and thoughts. By the end of the interviews they extend the calling to the new SP. They may have preconceived notions of who the new SP should be, but there are anecdotes served up in General Conference sometimes about how the Lord directs them to pick another guy with a big house and jet skis instead of the intended guy with a big house and jet skis.
Could you provide a list for Sacrament Meeting etiquette?
-TRY to arrive on time…
-Feed your kids BEFORE meeting
-Don’t get up and walk out until speaker is finished
-At what point is a child TOO rowdy, and should be taken out? (Out of the chapel, that is).
No. No such list exists or should exist. We’re already too crazy in our Sabbath observance. The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. We’re a lay clergy, and a lazy one at that. Don’t try to make Church more difficult for people! Here’s your list:
1. Don’t be rude
One of the new Temple Ordinance movies is the least of my favorites, however the music track is the most beautiful. Could this track of music be had for my personal enjoyment (preparing to attend the temple)?
No. But here are some alternates that sound pretty temple-ish:
-Soundtrack to Empire of the Sun
-Soundtrack to Tree of Life
-Soundtrack to Maximum Overdrive
The temple music is just your average soaring theme. There’s nothing that amazing about it, just as there is nothing amazing about anything in the temple film. It shouldn’t be amazing. It’s an ordinance, not Laser Floyd. If you want to get a glimpse of what the endowment really should be, go to Manti or SLC to take in a live session. That’s how the ceremony was designed and that’s how it should be. Make up your own music in your head as you go.
If EQ had their own version of the “good news minute” à la RS, what would the shared experiences be?
Probably about their high scores in Madden or about how Maximum Overdrive was on last night.
People give Brigham Young a lot of crap for his comments about the moon and the sun being inhabited. What if he turned out to be right, and some future NASA expedition discovers some below-surface Moon Paradise? Would anyone ever eat crow for making fun of Brigham Young? PS is it possible that there is life on the moon?
Nobody will ever repent for making fun of Brigham Young. If we’re suddenly dealing with sun-men and moon-maidens, people will just say that BY was lucky. People don’t like admitting when they’re wrong, even when they’re ecclesiastically obligated to do so. Look at it this way: what do you think Brigham Young would say now about his moonmen theories? Right.
Is it possible that there’s life on the moon? Beats me, but people can live in Idaho, so why not the moon?
If Mitt Romney had been a woman (same background, qualifications, race, family relations, only the gender is different) would she have won the 2012 presidential election?
No. Are you kidding me? The only thing people hate more than Mormons are women! No way. Look at Carly Fiorina if you want to see how badly women are treated in GOP politics.
Where did the phrase “cultural hall” come from?
They had lots of Halls in the Olden Timez. Masonic Halls, Dance Halls, Halls and Oates, you name it. You have to remember that people were living in adobe huts and were eating sand and sharpening sticks to hunt sabretooth tigers. The Hall was the single large structure in newly-founded towns for popular events. You can still find towns across America where the Masonic Lodge or Elks or what have you is the hub for any large group gathering. Anyways, they had a Cultural Hall in Nauvoo (originally a Masonic Hall), and various plays, dances and other activities went on there — in part because of the aforementioned adobe huts and sand. The phrase itself? Who knows, but Mormons didn’t invent it.
When do the first Kynzleeys and Remyngtynns become general auxiliary/authority members? I’m in my mid-20s and hope i’m dead before then.
They don’t. Best-case scenario, those ridiculous names become their initials, so Rmyngtynn Monson becomes R. Rockwell Monson or somesuch. Those poor kids. Weep for them. They have no future.
Fictional Missions, Ranked
As always, these rankings are authoritative.
- Hyrule South
- Finland, Helsinki, Summertime-Only, English-Speaking
- Spain, Barcelona, Non-Proselytizing
- Illinois, Chicago, Catholic Orphanage-Saving Service Mission
- Comic-Con Cosplay Mission
- Family Defense Service Mission
- Pacific Coast Trail Mission
- Southeast Asia Culinary Mission
- Netflix and Chill, French-Speaking
- The One Where You Don’t Feel Crushing Guilt and Inadequacy