Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you disagree with a given policy of the Church. I’m picking a policy, but this hypothetical isn’t necessarily about THAT policy, it could be lots of different policies. I’m also deliberately sidestepping the policy vs doctrine vs revelation tempest, though of course in this Church you can never fully avoid that tack. Anyways: you disagree with an articulated policy of the Church. What is your duty? What should you do? Let’s run through the permutations.
First, you can say nothing/do nothing. Just keep going to Church as usual, keep your opinions to yourself. If the policy doesn’t affect you directly, no action from you.
Second, you can be vocal in your opposition to the policy, but do nothing. You continue with your Church membership as usual, but you might blog or something about your disagreement. But you still do what the Church asks.
Third, you can both be vocal and take affirmative steps of some sort. Obviously, if the policy affects you directly, you can refuse to comply. If you’re not directly affected, you could refuse to pay tithing or stop attending or any number of other courses of action.
Fourth, you could adopt some sort of middle road, where you grumble a little, maybe leave some sort of grumpy Facebook wall remark, and slacken off at Church.
Church members have a number of duties, some of which can come into conflict with each other. A partial list: duty of loyalty to the Church, a general duty as followers of Christ to do His will, a civic duty of liberty and freedom, a duty of honesty and candor, a duty to avoid evil speaking of the Lord’s anointed, a duty of humility, a duty of loving one’s family, a duty to love your neighbor. Ideally these duties are all harmonious with each other. If they aren’t harmonious, then the question arises of a hierarchy among them. That hierarchical question can be answered a few different ways, depending on the source. Some people will place the duty of family above all others. Some will place the duty towards the Church first. Fundamentally, the Holy Ghost must teach us our primary duties. The Scriptures are a valuable resource, but even they may not be perfect (for example, the Old Testament is MESSED UP). Further, the content of these duties is open to debate. For example, if you are truly loyal to the Church, can you never criticize it? Or does your duty of loyalty to the Church actually require you to work towards improving the institution? Again, the answer to those questions is highly fact-specific, and it’s imperative that each member of the Church pray and receive guidance from the Holy Ghost.
However: even if we assume that a given policy of the Church puts our priorities into conflict, that conflict does not result in the elimination of the trumped duty. Rather, we remain responsible to carry out that duty to the extent we can. If you believe, for example, that you cannot fully fulfill your duty to your family and be loyal to the Church as an institution, the appropriate solution is not complete abandonment of one or the other, but rather to fulfill the primary duty, AND to fulfill the secondary duty as much as possible. I am not convinced that a hierarchy of duty necessitates the elimination of secondary duties.
Ultimately, if I disagree with a policy (or if I disagree with a rationale for a policy, or I disagree with a General Conference talk, etc.), I’m going to pray about it, think about it, #ponderize, talk with friends and leaders, and try my best to do what I feel is right. But ultimately, my disagreement does not necessarily negate my duty. If I think a policy is bogus and that the articulated rationales for it are inaccurate or whitewashing, that does not necessarily mean that I no longer need to be loyal to the Church or that suddenly I should feel free to talk smack about the Brethren. Conversely, mindlessly — and spirit-lessly — advocating a policy that hurts your family may be inappropriately neglecting an important duty.
Are there times when conflicts between priorities requires us to negate one of them as a duty? Potentially, yes. Whether or not you are living in one of those times is up to you to determine in accordance with the inspiration given to you. In the meantime, the juggling act between our various duties as Latter-day Saints means doing the best we can with respect to all of our individual obligations.