1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9…
It’s the 10 Conference Commandments
The challenge: Stay woke for two hours,
With nothing to look at but some podium flowers.
If you don’t, that’s alright, people doze,
Sometimes that’s the way the AM session goes.
This is commonplace, ‘specially on a soft couch,
So grab a place to sit where you won’t zone out.
Pick a snack, something easy to make,
Skip the first talk if there’s baked goods to be baked.
A game for the kids can make it fun,
But don’t give ‘em your phone; you’ll need it for the next one.
Use #LDSConf when you get the jitters,
It’s your hashtag, when there’s twittering to be twittered.
How you gon’ watch depends on where you are,
If you’re in the west US it’s on TV, that ain’t hard.
Everybody else, you’ll need to stream it live,
So pick a place to view where the bandwidth’s high.
As you listen keep your focus on heaven…
And keep your heart open like a 7-11.
When MoTab sings, you can raise your voice skyward,
Unless you’re in your living room; that’s a little awkward!
In between sessions, watch the interstitials,
A soft-focused look at some weird Utah rituals.
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