Codes, Ranked

After the snot-nosedness from some of the commenters last week–suggesting that The Process is somehow non-revelatory in nature–Steve and I decided that you’ll no longer be treated with clear insights into how stuff gets Ranked. Anyway, all of the talk recently about Honor Codes led us to seek inspiration on the true ranking of Codes.

As always, these rankings are authoritative.

  1. Warrior
  2. “Nothing’s the matter.”
  3. ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → A
  4. “…has a great personality/sense of humor!”
  5. [Takes Wide stance in a bathroom stall with three quick taps of the left foot while wearing Sperry Top-Siders]
  6. [Wears a colored shirt to church]
  7. Bro
  8. FORTRAN
  9. “I’m really tired, dear.”
  10. “Defend the Family”

Comments

  1. Bless your hearts

  2. How did “Red” miss out?

  3. eponymous says:

    Your #1 is becoming redundant. At some point with repetition every joke eventually falls flat.

  4. Hammurabi is rolling in his grave.

  5. JeannineL says:

    There is no Honor? Guess it didn’t make the cut. You’d probably better let someone know.

  6. Suffice it to say that Honor did not make the cut.

  7. How about Joseph’s Code of Many Colors?

  8. Nor did the Model Rules of Professional Conduct for you attorneys.

  9. Eric Russell says:

    This list is worthless without Morse and Da Vinci.

  10. Rigel Hawthorne says:

    “Did I tell about the time I went backpacking in Europe?”

  11. it's a series of tubes says:

    #8 is incomplete, and misranked. select, start is omitted! Guess those who control The Process were lonely, lonely boys playing solo.

  12. The Other Clark says:

    What?? Morse doesn’t even make the list?! I’m taking my ball and going home. A truly inspired list would include Morse, Honor, and Da Vinci. And maybe omerta.

  13. Last Lemming says:

    I tried guessing what would make the cut before I clicked on the post. FORTRAN is the only thing I got right. (Although I did correctly predict that “Honor” would be conspicuously missing.)

  14. Da Vinci doesn’t belong on any top ten list, unless it’s a top ten list of poorly written and wildly overrated bestsellers.

  15. Hex!

  16. Scott B. says:

    Rigel Hawthorne gets a gold star for an honorable mention.

    its a series of tubes: You’ve fallen victim to a common misunderstanding of the Konami code. The “start” and “select” buttons are not technically part of the code, but instead are required by the console itself to access the part of the game in which the code is entered (“Select” for toggling between Controller 1 & 2) and/or activating the game itself (“Start” for actually beginning the game). The code itself ends with B-A.

  17. This is my favorite #1 of all Rankings.

  18. Eric Russell says:

    Tim,

    Dan Brown is a great guy. Just like Joseph Smith though, all great guys have an army of darkness to attempt to discredit their works.

  19. p_notorious says:

    You forgot Setec Astronomy coming in at number 6

  20. Eric Russell ftw, that line shall spring eternal in blog comments.

  21. Eric Russell FTW! LOL!

  22. Left Field says:

    You’re not foolin’ anybody. We all know if revelation had anything to do with this, the list would include the genetic code and the International Code of Zoological Nomenclature.

  23. Eponymous says:

    The fact that you fumbled on Zone Improvement Plan (ZIP) code demonstrates how quickly an institution strays from the truth without revelation. ;)

  24. The Cowboy Code By Gene Autry
    1. The cowboy must never shoot first, hit a smaller man, or take unfair advantage.
    2. He must never go back on his word, or a trust confided in him.
    3. He must always tell the truth.
    4. He must be gentle with children, the elderly, and animals.
    5. He must not advocate or possess racially or religiously intolerant ideas.
    6. He must help people in distress.
    7. He must be a good worker.
    8. He must keep himself clean in thought, speech, action, and personal habits.
    9. He must respect women, parents, and his nation’s laws.
    0. The Cowboy is a patriot.

  25. it's a series of tubes says:

    its a series of tubes: You’ve fallen victim to a common misunderstanding of the Konami code. The “start” and “select” buttons are not technically part of the code, but instead are required by the console itself to access the part of the game in which the code is entered (“Select” for toggling between Controller 1 & 2) and/or activating the game itself (“Start” for actually beginning the game). The code itself ends with B-A.

    Au contraire, mon frère. When entering the code on the start screen of Contra (the truest and most pure application of the code, though the endless resurrect use in Ikari Warriors comes in a close second), following the code with “select” toggles between a single player and two player game selection. Thus, if “select” was absent, you were playing a one player game; hence the “lonely boy” comment. Two player Contra was the shizzle.

  26. Franklin says:

    Where’s code of arms or area code or “I am a witness of Jesus Christ”?

  27. What about my stuffy node code?

  28. With all of the hoopla surrounding #8, I’m surprised none of the other Contra geeks here noticed that an additional “B A” is missing from the end of the code.