Thoughts I Had During X-Men: Apocalypse

Before I get into it, this is how my day began:

My husband: Let’s see X-Men tonight.
Me: Noooooo I don’t want to pay to see that in the thea– Is Fassbender in it?
My husband: Yep.
Me: …Fine.

(No spoilers)

  • This movie is so bad.
  • “Why do you have a British accent if we’re Polish, papa?”
  • (Too far into the movie) Oh, that’s Cyclops.
  • “The third movie is always the worst” NO, THIS ONE IS
  • Storm got pants but the brunette girl didn’t :(
  • This fast kid should be in every movie.
  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (When my husband asked if Apocalypse was Poe Dameron. But then it was!!!)
  • Does a single character’s timeline make sense in this series? (This occupied 60% of my thoughts during the movie.)
  • “I’ve never done it with this many people!” Heh. Heh.
  • This movie is so bad.


  1. Kevin Barney says:

    I love your Fassbender line…

  2. this was probably more entertaining than the movie itself. I don’t know how they could’ve gone wrong making mutant Stargate though.

  3. Lady Didymus says:

    Amen on Fassbender.

  4. Actually, the movie is wonderful. The points I liked in it:
    1. Ancient Egypt
    2. Modern Egypt
    3. Fast Boy
    4. The boy with wings
    5. and the main reason – Sophie Turner (OMG, she is so so fantastic).

    The things I didn’t like:
    1. Easy killing of the Ancient Evil

  5. I don’t know why some mutants get pants. It seems unjust.

  6. Yeah but that Magneto scene in the forest was pretty great

  7. Angela C says:

    OK, so it was about 40 minutes too long and basically the plot of every X-Men movie is the same, but it was a lot better than Batman vs. Superman in which muscular guys walk incredibly slowly while the wind furls their capes behind them artistically. And Fassbender over Ben Affleck any day, but Quicksilver stole the show for me as before.

  8. Dog Pface says:

    Took my wife to Love and Friendship instead.

  9. Angela C says:

    Love & Friendship was really good! Very well done, and with an incomplete novel for the starting point.

  10. It was kind of like a game of Quidditch. That is, people (some with pants, some not) fly around and do stuff (that we’ve seen in every movie since forever) until the only person that matters does the only thing that matters, and then things are suddenly over.

    It was so bad.

  11. Deborah Powell says:

    Here’s a name I’ve come across while teaching in California… Sthepanie. No, seriously! It’s spelled that way on her birth certificate! The kids call her Stephanie , but she wanted to be called “Theh-pah-nee” (accent on the first syllable).

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