A Mormon Mafia? Heck Yeah. And It’s Yuge!

Lou Dobbs is on to us. Yesterday, one of the few human beings left in the world awful enough to qualify as a surrogate for Donald Trump tweeted the following about Mormon candidate Evan McMullin: “Look Deeper, He’s nothing but a Globalist, Romney and Mormon Mafia Tool.” As soon as I saw this, I knew that the jig was up. You see, for the last few months, I have been researching precisely this thing: the deadly, highly secretive bands of Mormon enforcers who sparked terror into the hearts of the Old West. They usually went by the names “Danites” or “Destroying Angels.” And they were a bad lot.

Fortunately, their dastardly deeds were preserved for us by the Lou Dobbs’s of yesteryear: the authors of the story papers and dime novels that dominated the popular media from 1860 through about 1910. Here are a few of the 35 Mormon dime novels that I have collected over the years. The covers tell you everything you need to know.

.

bessie doomed
delores bb2
cc brad
 cjft 7
brad2 lynx

 

So, memo to Lou Dobbs: be careful out there. You have no idea what you have unleashed. There is a Mormon Mafia. It is real, it is yuge, and we are not amused.

Comments

  1. There was of course another, later, incarnation of the Mormon Mafia–the guys who worked for Howard Hughes from the 50’s through his death.

    Of course, they may just have been descendants of the Danites of the 19th Century, carrying on the same work.

  2. I know this is all in fun (as much ‘fun’ as politics can be), and what I’ve seen of Dobbs’ comment is an angry rant, including made up words and prhases.

    However, bloc voting is a long-standing Mormon issue. From Nauvoo (from the Encyclopedia of Mormonism: “at first politically neutral, in 1840-1841 [the Mormons] voted solidly Whig in Illinois, though they had voted Democrat in Missouri; this alienated some Democrats, but most politicians courted the LDS bloc vote in Illinois, just as others courted the Roman Catholic vote in New York”), through polygamy (women’s suffrage was first granted in Utah in 1870 by the territorial legislature, but Utah women were disenfranchised by provisions of the federal Edmunds–Tucker Act in 1887, reportedly over concerns that the men were controlling their multiple wives’ votes), through the overwhelming Republican voting of the recent past.

    Politicians tend to love bloc voting when it supports them, and to think it is of the devil when the bloc turns.

    (As a matter of disclosure, the teaching and example of my father was to vote contrary to the bloc, whichever way it moved, out of principle.)

  3. The Mormon Mafia is real… one never knows when they will strike and fold your laundry, weed your yard or leave homemade bread or cookies.

  4. eponymous says:

    For those who may recall the reference of another rowdy group of Mormon young men defending their faith, “Don’t mess with the Elders of Israel.”

    The original Daily Universe article that shared that quote is not available online unfortunately. It was an interesting moment for anyone who was there that night.

  5. Old Man, cookies, bread? You must be dealing with amateurs, the real Mormon Mafia leaves zucchini, bags and bags of it.

  6. What about Mark E. Petersen’s SCMC? More passive aggressive than the Danites, but whatever.

  7. The LDSS is the disciplinary arm of the church. Crew cuts, clean shaven, black uniforms with silver beehives on the collar tabs.

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