The news is full of stories about some wall that’s going to be built and how a 20% tariff on Mexican goods will pay for it. I’ve been thinking about another wall lately.
This election has shown us is that we all live in a bubble, and given what I’ve been seeing and hearing for the last 5 days, I feel like my bubble needs a little heavier fortification. It’s not that I don’t want personal connections; I just want to be sure that the people who are in my bubble are valuable contributors. I don’t want people to be in my bubble who are unfairly or disproportionately draining my time or energy which are limited resources, when I could have people in my bubble who are boosting me. From now on, it’s Angela First.
In an article about why countries build wall along their borders, three main reasons were identified:
- To establish boundaries and retain sovereign control of one’s country. Boundaries, people.
- When one’s neighbor is poorer. Or hopped up on alt facts.
- When the poorer neighbor’s encroachments threaten to reduce the standard of living of the sovereign country. Having to listen to some of you is reducing my quality of life.
So here are the qualifications to be in my personal bubble. I’m not one of those people who needs a total echo chamber. I don’t mind rational, informed disagreement in my bubble. Here are some of the groups that are welcome although not like-minded:
- Economic conservatives are more than welcome. I don’t take issue with people who believe in the conservative economic principles of limited government. Libertarians are also fine if a bit impractical and extreme. So are liberals, even though I think some are too idealistic and impractical. Independents, green party, Whigs, Tories, Labour Party. People of any political persuasion are welcome. I will even enjoy talking about your views with you. Not an issue. I would hope to learn something from you.
- SCOTUS voters who backed Trump. Having thrown your vote away for SCOTUS picks is dumb, IMO, but hey, it’s your right. People who misunderstand the church’s position on abortion and think we are straight no-caveat pro-life are welcome in my bubble. How often do we talk about abortion anyway? You can be wrong in the bubble. Wrongness is not a disqualification. Continuing to justify your total lapse in judgment is becoming increasingly untenable. You folks have a shelf life, but for now you’re in.
- People who voted straight party Republican but disliked Trump. Again, I think it was dangerously foolish of you, and I am sure in time you’ll see that, but I understand that there are just some people who are unthinking straight party voters.
- Those who disliked Hillary can be in the bubble. I disagree with your assessment of her, but I understand that she wasn’t everyone’s favorite. That’s OK, although the grounds for your dislike may place you closer to the edge of the bubble. If 90% of your information about her came from Fox News, well, I’m not surprised you disliked her.
- Accidental or apologetic bigots. Nobody is perfect. You’re trying. You don’t want to be racist or sexist or homophobic, but it’s hard to change. I’m glad you are working on it. I’ll allow for that. Hurry up already, and no bashing in the bubble, but you can take a beat to gather your thoughts.
- People who regret voting for Trump. You made a terrible mistake. I know that. You know that. It’s not forgotten, but welcome aboard. The bubble has room for you.
- Those who spontaneously start rapping Hamilton lyrics.
- People who hope for the best without going so far as defending the worst.
- People who wish to discuss the merits of policy reform in a rational and educated manner.
- Those who are excited about Religious Freedom. Expect reminders from me that banning Muslims violates religious freedom more than being taken to task for your grumpy unfiltered opinions on gay marriage.
THE WALL THE WALL THE WALL THE WALL THE WALL THE WALL THE WALL THE WALL
Sorry, those of you on this side of the wall are being deported from my bubble, and I’m building a wall. It’s not an open border. We may be acquaintances, but we probably won’t be actual friends unless you are willing to invest an extra 20% in the relationship compared to the people on the other side of the wall. I wish you the best, but I simply don’t need you in my life. You’re a drain. From a friendship perspective, you commit a higher percent of crimes than my other friends. You don’t contribute to my well-being. Trying to educate you and explain to you why you are dangerously wrong is just not worth the time required.
- Anyone who says that a Trump presidency somehow means God is back in charge is right out. Not only are they outside my wall but they are outside of their friggin’ mind.
- People who mock the Women’s march or claim that those advocating for women’s rights are unrighteous, vulgar spotlight hogs.
- Anybody who actually suggests we celebrate Trump’s self-declared Patriotic Devotion Day. This applies until the end of time.
- Those who persist in claiming that Trump’s boasts of sexual assault are “locker room talk” or “how all men talk.” You’re gross. You and I don’t live in the same reality.
- People who think their opinion or assertion is just as good as scientific evidence.
- Any fool claiming that CNN is fake news.
- Those who are relieved they can now say what they really think about gays, blacks, immigrants, refugees, women, etc. Those who spread hatred in the name of “Trump’s America.” People who are openly badmouthing Muslims or refugees.
- Anyone still defending having voted for Trump after the things he has said and done and continues to say and do. Anyone who thinks he’s qualified, presidential or who doesn’t realize he’s a disastrous thin-skinned insult machine with no filters or moral compass. If you are defending him because you are ignorant, you can spend your 20% in educating yourself. Then we’ll talk.
I can see you there on the other side of the bubble wall. Hello. I wish you well. I just don’t want to hear you. Go on about your business. My wall is sound-proof. La la la.
“But Angela, how can I pay the 20% so that I can be in your bubble?” you may be thinking. I’m glad you asked. Here are some suggestions.
- Rides to the airport.
- Do nice things to help my kids.
- Laugh with me. Remind me why we were friends in the first place.
- Take me out for some 20% more expensive tacos.
- Stop doing the things on this list around me. I have a short memory. I might just forget your immigrant status in my bubble.