Are you tired of Donald Trump? Tired of hearing about him? Tired of reading about him? Tired of arguing about him with your weird Uncle Rick? Yeah, same goes for me. And Steve, too. But also tired of coming to the realization that being tired of it isn’t an option, because it’s important? Yeah, us too.
As always, these rankings are authoritative.
- Retreating to Facebook & Twitter, where no one ever mentions him.
- Repeating to myself, “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
- Thinking about murdered puppies because it seems less awful.
- Taking longer and longer trips to the Fringe Universe.
- Home Teaching.
- Yelling at family members for no apparent reason, then sobbing quietly in the shower with the water turned on to mask the sound
- Rapping that song from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze while using my blender to make a smoothie.
- Sustaining the family or whatever.
- Comparing Immortan Joe’s skin blisters to Baron Harkonnen’s to see who has more.
- Nothing. Nothing works. Life has become an unbearable political hellscape and I long for a quick and painless death to escape this torment, also have you seen how expensive the Nintendo Switch is, that’s so much, but I really love Zelda games.
*Getting extra guacamole from Chipotle until there is nothing but guacamole, only guacamole matters and I will stare at this bowl of guacamole for all time.