Is it Christmas season yet?
[checks calendar; sees it’s not December yet; proceeds anyway]
We at BCC care about you and your loved ones, and we love Christmas. Gifts are an important part of the season, and should be selected with care and consideration to ensure that the gifts are top-notch and fulfill their purpose. Lifting spirits and spreading love are noble goals, of course. But focusing on these ideals ignores the TRUE meaning of Christmas, which is about getting your kids to leave you alone for a few hours, for crying out loud.
To assist you in this worthy cause, I’ll be posting some periodic gift-giving PSAs throughout the holiday season.
By Common Consent, a Mormon Blog 
True story: last winter my son shot my other son in the eye with a nerf gun and it resulted in a retinal hemorrhage, and potentially other issues that required daily checkups with the ophthalmologist for over a week, eyedrops, and an eye patch. And during the first visit, a windstorm that knocked out power to the whole neighborhood for several days, so the doc had to do the exam by flashlight.
RETINAL HEMORRHAGE holy smokes JKC
This I should what I’m talking about.
Thanks, Scott B, for being willing to tackle the big issues. My advice: 1. Buy the manual pump-action Nerf guns only–forget the heartache of batteries. 2. Suction darts, not the round-tipped ones. With a matched pair and some laminated scripture references, you can set up a truly superior seminary/FHE game.
I just bought two giant Nerf guns. Not for my kids– for my sister and me. Periodic Nerf gun wars on a Sunday night doubles as a wholesome recreational activity and a release of post-church frustration. We also play something called “balls in the dark”. A game we started as kids while babysitting our younger siblings, you just gather every kind of ball you have in the house, choose sides (like two couches) and basically try to get from one side to they other without getting hit. We broke a couple ceiling lights that way. Parents were ticked.
It is satisfying to unload barrages of nerf gun darts on each other though, we use the super big multi-dart magazines, and my Venn diagram is more betterer because we just make the kids pick them up. It is good to be queen. 👸🏻
Yeah, it was actually pretty scary. For a while there was a good chance he could lose the eye. Even now he has to get annual check-ups whereas they otherwise wouldn’t have required an eye exam until he was much older. Oh, and it was a suction-tipped dart.
If you’re using Nerf guns, you’re doing it wrong. Here’s how it should be done:
1) Go to a hardware store and purchase a length of 1/2″ pvc pipe.
2) While you’re there, purchase safety glasses for everyone who will be playing (seriously, you’ll need these).
3) Cut the pvc pipe into 2′ lengths and sand the ends. These are now blow dart guns.
4) Use actual Nerf darts. Off brand darts don’t fit as well.
This will save you $$$ and will vastly increase the fun of Nerf dart wars. Sure, it’s only a single shot and you have to reload after each dart but the darts will fly out of those pvc pipes at easily twice the velocity of the Nerf guns and with 10x the accuracy. Always wear the safety glasses and don’t play with small children. Makes a great stocking stuffer.
Nerf gun thoughts: the darts…I spend all day every day picking them up. Suuuuuuuuper annoying, but maybe you could get nerf guns for your nieces and nephews? Also, we have nerf gun wars with my in-laws. It’s really fun, except for picking up all the darts at the end.
DKC: Better yet, don’t use nerf darts. Use marshmallows. This is a really fun game, doesn’t hurt anyone and bonus points if your dog likes marshmallows like ours does. No clean up necessary!