How do women spiritually override bad Priesthood leadership?

If its true that women’s personal revelation governs, that truth threatens to nullify both Paul and the Proclamation on the Family, to say nothing of women’s temple covenants.  If it’s true, then none of the “submit” or “reverence” or “preside” or “hearken” or “obey” or “husband” language should exist, anywhere, in our doctrine.  

But that language does exist, as a matter of doctrine, and is emphasized often. 

It presents unique problems in cases of abuse.