Family – By Common Consent, a Mormon Blog

Parenting, faith and vomit

January 21, 2020 by Guest 13 Comments

Rachel Allred lives in California and loves her husband, her two young kids, and ice cream (not necessarily in that order). She generally tries to make the world a more empathetic place.

I read Carolyn’s post on being terrified about having kids at 4am. I turned to BCC to help me stay awake just over halfway through my two-year-old’s five-hour vomiting marathon (20+ times). Fortunately he only woke up his baby sister twice. I’m responding to that post in bits and pieces while I’m home with that two-year-old and missing an important work deadline.* [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Guest Post, Mormon, Women Tagged With: Callings, children, family, parenthood, vocation

What I Wish My Prophet Would Say

January 20, 2020 by Guest 53 Comments

Kenneth Merrill graduated from BYU with a degree in Philosophy and now works as a cinematographer in Los Angeles, CA. He’s married, with two boys, and in his spare time he likes to play music, rock climb, practice sleight of hand, and read/write—but mostly he just ends up staring at glowing screens.

It was a warm summer day in Long Island City, an area of Queens just across the river from Manhattan. My companion and I were on our way to an appointment in the Queens Bridge Projects when we stopped to talk to two older ladies on their way back home from the grocery store.

“Hi, I’m Elder Merrill, and we’re out here to tell people that we have a living prophet on this earth today. Would you be interested in hearing more about that?”

With frightening directness, one of the women turned to me and asked, “Oh really, a prophet? What’s he been prophesying lately?”

I probably stood slack-jawed for a decent 5 seconds before the next words tumbled uncontrollably out of my mouth:

“Drugs are bad.” [Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Doctrine & Policy, Family, General Conference, Guest Post, Mormon, Science, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy Tagged With: 2020, First Vision, general conference, love, prophet, revelation

The Meetinghouse and the Temple

January 13, 2020 by Guest 45 Comments

Michael Haycock has a bachelor’s from Yale and a master’s in religion from Claremont Graduate University. He currently serves as the Ecumenical/Christian Life Coordinator at Georgetown. Views are, of course, his own.

LDS theology is like the double helix of DNA, unzipped: it has two parallel strands that circle around each other, but which rarely connect.

On one strand rests the Meetinghouse, with much of the Christianity we received through scripture ancient and modern and which we share with much of Christendom.

On the other is the Temple, the divine anthropology of the eternal family, and eternal progression, which we hold unique among Christian faiths. [1]

I am convinced that much of the theological friction within the LDS Church is born of the gaps between these two theological strands, amplified by official near-silence on how to bind them together. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Anciently Revealed, Children, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Guest Post, Liturgy, Marriage, Modernly Revealed, Mormon, Religion, Scriptures, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy Tagged With: Christ, Christianity, family, meetinghouse, ordinances, plan of salvation, Proclamation on the Family, sealing, temple, theology

I’m terrified about having kids.

January 6, 2020 by Carolyn 79 Comments

I just spent the holidays with family. I’ve been married a year. I’m approaching my mid-30s. And due to an unrelenting year at work, I’ve gained some weight. So perhaps unsurprisingly, the last few weeks have featured a conversational dance of hinted “are-you-pregnant” questions.

I’ve ignored the hints and laughed off the passing comments about future grandchildren. What I haven’t responded with is my honest answer: I’m terrified about having kids. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Church Programs, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Health & Medicine, Marriage, Modern Era, Mormon, Relief Society, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy, Women, Young Women Tagged With: children, faith, family, fear, Feminism, kids, Marriage, Proclamation on the Family

Thanksgiving: Welcome to the Adults’ Table

November 27, 2019 by Angela C 7 Comments

Image result for thanksgiving Thanksgiving has long been one of my favorite holidays. There are no gifts to buy, no decorations to put up, just a big delicious meal, and a nice long weekend after a light work week here in the US. The turkey coma is a bonus, and the leftovers are always amazing.

When we lived in Asia, because our kids attended the American school, a long holiday meant we had time to travel to other countries. Our first Thanksgiving in Asia was in Cebu, Philippines. We were on a youth temple trip, and we found a lovely German restaurant that boasted an authentic American Thanksgiving buffet. The food was mostly good, although one dish was labelled “candied potatoes.” It consisted of sliced fried potatoes covered in syrup and hard candies. It reminded me of the types of dishes we occasionally encountered in Asia that had nearly familiar names, but then were not what we expected at all. Our next Thanksgiving we were in Hanoi, Vietnam, and found a fantastic multi-course Thanksgiving dinner overlooking Halong Bay. That’s probably my favorite Thanksgiving of all time, mostly because I didn’t have to cook a thing, and the food was fantastic, even more than usual thanks to a dose of culinary home-sickeness. Plus, there was both ham and turkey. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Education, Family, Politics, Society & Culture

Women Witnesses for Ordinances

October 2, 2019 by Carolyn

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced this morning that women can now serve as witnesses for baptisms and temple sealings.

I’m thrilled about this change. As I wrote two years ago, the Church’s longtime refusal to let women serve as witnesses contradicted Jesus Christ’s own example of choosing women to be the first witnesses of his Resurrection. And as co-blogger Jonathan Stapley details, women as witnesses has long precedence in the modern Church as well.

This change matters. It’s not just a technical hand-waving exercise. Women witnessing our saving ordinances matter. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Church Programs, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Marriage, Mormon, Relief Society, Religion, Scriptures, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy, Women, Young Women Tagged With: ordinances, primitive church, revelation, witness, witnesses, women

The Foot Shelf

August 12, 2019 by Angela C

About ten years ago, we were renovating our master bathroom, making the shower larger with a stone surround, and adding a big sunken garden tub (that literally has been used TWICE since we put it in, grrrr). As we discussed the options with the builder, he quoted a set amount to add a “bench” to the shower.

My husband, looking to save money perhaps, quickly said, “We don’t really need that. When do I ever sit in the shower?”

I interrupted to explain. “That’s not for sitting. I need a place to rest my foot when I shave my legs. It’s a foot shelf!” [Read more…]

Filed Under: Church Programs, Education, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Men, Mormon, Politics, Rants, Religion, Society & Culture, Women

“You have been scheduled . . .”

August 7, 2019 by Guest

Emily Jensen is a former BCC permablogger and friend of the blog.

“You have been scheduled to meet with XXXXX XXX for a meeting Tuesday June 18th at 7 p.m. for your ministering interview.”

“Your family has been scheduled to clean the church on Saturday, June 22nd at 8 a.m. Please meet with the XXXX family up at the church.”

Ok, hopefully this is only happening in my ward, but in case it’s not, let’s talk about the new, and dare I say, rude habit of scheduling people to do things in the church without first asking if they are even available. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Church Programs, Family, Guest Post, Mormon, Rants Tagged With: volunteering, voluntelling

What I Know

August 5, 2019 by Guest

Natalie Brown is a former BCC permablogger and friend of the blog. She is returning to graduate school this fall to write a dissertation on nineteenth-century writers’ experiences with home loss and displacement.

What I Know: The Power of Narrower Testimonies

As I sat down to pen my father’s eulogy, I drew a blank. How could I say anything that could adequately capture him, bring me solace and serve the needs of a community that was mourning? Words didn’t come, and so I prayed that the Spirit would tell me what to say. My answer came later that night as I listened to family tell stories of my father. Each of us saw a part of him: the spouse, the parent, the colleague, the friend. No single person saw the whole. This is what I realized: No one can tell the story of someone else’s life. It’s an impossible task, because we carry only our own sets of experiences. Each of our stories together, however, add up to something more. If there is a silver lining to a funeral, it’s the opportunity to see those stories come together to reveal a person even larger than we know. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Church Programs, Family, Guest Post, Mormon, Navel-Gazing & Poetic Observation, Religion Tagged With: Christian contemplation, eulogy, funeral, testimony

LGB Saints at Church: Some Challenges

June 29, 2019 by Guest

Michael is from a multigenerational Latter-day Saint family but has spent the majority of his life outside of the Mormon corridor. He’s not employed by academia but looks for opportunities to scratch his academic itch.

PREFACE

When the Church retracted the November 2015 set of LGB-related Church policies I felt relief, like taking a breath of air after too much time underwater. As the news sunk in, one common reaction I saw was would-be allies asking what everyday Latter-day Saints could do to make their LGBT brothers and sisters feel more welcome.

Most of the proffered answers to that question focused on changing doctrine, policy, and teachings. That is not my answer — or at least, not my starting point. I intend to adapt the question Neylan McBaine poses in Women at Church: “accepting the doctrines and policies we have in place in the Church today, how can we help improve [LGB]-cooperative practices on the local level so as to relieve unnecessary tensions caused by cultural or historically normative practices?” [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Guest Post, Marriage, Men, Mormon, Women Tagged With: gay, lgbt, LGBTq, Pride, women

Clearance vs. Cancellation

June 26, 2019 by Angela C

From the Women’s Bible Commentary:

Deuteronomy prohibits the husband, who sought to secure for himself a cheap divorce from his spurned bride, from ever divorcing her. To our ears, this provision sounds appalling, binding a young girl for the rest of her life to a man who “hates” her. In patriarchal ancient Judah, where women’s social status and economic survival depended on membership in a male-headed household, the provision was probably intended to guarantee her security.

The Deuteronomic law relies on some assumptions that don’t match our modern interpretation of marriage:

Women in marriage are entitled to protection because they are unable to protect themselves.
Men in marriage are obligated to protect the women they marry because those women are otherwise unable to protect themselves.

In the iron age society of Deuteronomy, marriage entitles women but obligates men. Restricting men from abandoning their obligation is the objective of restrictions on divorce, not an intention to protect women from harm within the marriage relationship (which isn’t addressed), but to require men to protect women from a patriarchal society in which they have no standing or power and are financially and physically vulnerable. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Anciently Revealed, Church Programs, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Marriage, Men, Mormon, Scriptures, Society & Culture, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy, Women

Book Review—Jana Riess, The Next Mormons

June 19, 2019 by Guest

Richelle Wilson is a PhD student in Scandinavian studies and comparative literature at the University of Wisconsin–Madison. She is a talk producer at community radio station WORT 89.9 FM and a member of Dialogue’s editorial staff.

When I first heard Jana Riess was undertaking research about Millennial Mormons, I was ecstatic. I couldn’t wait for this book to be released. Given the heightened sense of generational divide in America right now, thanks in no small part to deepening political polarization and an ongoing series of culture wars run amok, research like this is vital for the health of our communities.

The Next Mormons doesn’t disappoint. Riess writes in a clear, engaging style that is approachable to non-specialists and folks who don’t know much about Mormonism. In spite of its seemingly niche topic, I hope this book receives a wider audience since Riess’s findings are important and have broader implications for religion in 21st-century America. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Church Programs, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Guest Post, Mormon, Society & Culture Tagged With: book reviews, faith, jana riess, millennials, policy, revelation, sociology, women

The Unborn

May 17, 2019 by Angela C

The appointment of conservative justice Bret Kavanaugh has emboldened some states to take a run at challenging Roe v. Wade by putting forward legislation to outlaw abortion that is a deliberate overreach to force the issue in front of the Supreme Court.[1] From my own conversations with fellow ward members, one reason many LDS voters chose to elect Trump in 2016 is that they, like many social conservatives, vehemently oppose abortion and would like to see the overturn of Roe v. Wade.[2] However, LDS theology is not nearly as anti-abortion as many other conservative religions. Like many other platforms, this is one where both parties’ views are potentially consistent with the church’s stance. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Current Events, Education, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Marriage, Mormon, Politics, Religion, Science, Society & Culture, Theology, Women

Love: A Proclamation to the World

May 15, 2019 by Guest

Today’s Proclamation is courtesy of best-selling author Mette Ivie Harrison.

I proclaim to my family of Latter-day Saints today that love is the organizing principle of the universe and that it is the most important value of all previous generations, all future generations, and of this generation. The pure love of Christ is the foundation of all that we do as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is what teaches us to find the divine in ourselves. It is what allows us to see ourselves and others more clearly. It is the only thing that enables us to become better people: kinder, more compassionate, more understanding, more expansive in our views, wiser, more learned, and more capable of serving others truly—without judgment or superiority. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Church Programs, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Marriage, Mormon, Religion, TCoJCoLDS, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy Tagged With: love, proclamation, Proclamation on the Family

Latter-day Saint Parents, Please Stop Apologizing for Your Child’s Wedding

April 26, 2019 by Guest

Emily B. grew up in New Hampshire but currently lives in Maryland, where she spends most of her time writing and teaching writing classes. She holds an MFA in Creative Writing from BYU and just finished a PhD in English at the University of Georgia. She and her husband have no children but two very spoiled cats.

Last summer while attending a conference for work, I met a woman from Utah, Trudy (not her real name). It was one of those contexts where we quickly figured out that we were both members of the Church and started chatting, just making small talk. Trudy asked if I had attended this conference before, and I explained that I had meant to attend the previous year but that my sister’s wedding plans had changed, preventing me from going. She then told me all about her adult children and her son’s upcoming wedding.

“Congratulations!” I said. “That’s exciting!”
“Well…” Trudy said, grimacing a little. She sighed.

Instantly, I knew what she was about to say. It’s a sigh and grimace I’ve seen on many occasions when a Latter-day Saint parent, or perhaps even a sibling, mentions an upcoming wedding. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Doctrine & Policy, Family, Guest Post, Marriage, Mormon Tagged With: Marriage, nonmember, sealing, temple, wedding

Personal Revelation and Sustaining Prophets

April 6, 2019 by Guest

Rachel Allred lives in California and loves her husband, her toddler, and ice cream (not necessarily in that order). She generally tries to make the world a more empathetic place.

I literally started crying in the cab Thursday. It was a Lyft. The driver asked if I was okay; I told him I was.

I knew The Policy was wrong. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. I felt like death when it was announced. My heart sank. My lungs filled with lead. My mind started screaming. My soul recoiled. I don’t know how else to say it. I was just completely numb. I walked around in a vaguely ragey, disbelieving fog for days.

That weekend in November 2015, my beloved husband and I (this was back when he went to church; I’ve wondered since if the policy was the beginning of the end) went to a thrift store to buy clothes with rainbow patterns. We specifically chose a thrift store whose proceeds are donated to LGBTQ support organizations. We wore our rainbows to church that Sunday. We went with subtle patterns. Too subtle, maybe, because we had to tell people that’s what we were doing, but I was playing the organ so at least some people noticed. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Guest Post, Marriage, Men, Mormon, Scriptures, Theology, Women Tagged With: exclusion, gay, LGBTq, policy, Prop8, prophets, proposition 8, sustaining

Heresy and Prophesy

April 5, 2019 by Carolyn

Humans are really bad at accurately identifying heretics and prophets. Christ preached as much (“no prophet is accepted in his own country”) — and was executed for it (“by our law he ought to die, because he made himself the Son of God”). Christ himself is both the world’s most renowned heretic and its greatest prophet.

It’s easy to confuse the two concepts because the definitions of heresy and prophesy mirror each other. They both hinge on the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

The Bible teaches that those who testify of Christ have the gift of prophesy. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints embraces this testifying definition of prophets.

St. Thomas Aquinas defines heresy as professing faith in Christ, while corrupting His Gospel. William Tyndale similarly explains that heresy springs “out of the blind hearts of hypocrites” who “cannot comprehend the light of scripture.” [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Marriage, Men, Mormon, Theology, Doctrine & Policy, Women Tagged With: heresy, lgbt, prophesy

Let Love be Love

April 5, 2019 by Guest

Nicole is a mother, feminist, and activist living in the Salt Lake Valley with her partner Kerstin and blended family of seven. She credits the women in her life for shaping her values and her hope for a world filled with compassion, authenticity, and uncompromising love.

It’s so hard to find any words to express my feelings about the news about the changed policy.

I type and delete and type and delete.

I couldn’t find the right words because I couldn’t find words that were true enough to myself, but that I thought would be safe from hurting or offending my family who are still members. I love my family very much and they have been so great with Kerstin and me. Since they’ve been so careful not to hurt us, I really, really don’t want to hurt them.

I think I’d just like to describe my dream world. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Church Programs, Current Events, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Guest Post, Marriage, Mormon, Religion Tagged With: apologies, apostasy, change, exclusion, family, gay, homosexuality, lgbt, love, policy, pox, unconditional love

On Chastity and Closed Doors

April 3, 2019 by Carolyn

I have a fondness for cheesy Christian romance novels. Their plots feature all of the emotional turmoil and external drama of harlequin romance novels – but they add faith crises and subtract sex.

One trope in these novels is to set up a wicked foil to the wholesome protagonist. In-need-of-repentance characters lurk in the subplots, steeped in dark allusions and transgressed boundaries. Think of Mr. Wickham in Pride and Prejudice. Jane Austen evinces plenty of scandal, yet there are zero explicit mentions of sex.

In order to stay “clean,” Christian novelists have learned to invoke religiously-tinged shame by writing proxies for sex. All “sin” happens off-screen. A common scene is the chance encounter after dark. A woman stands in the shadows, heart pounding, face lit by candlelight. A man with a half-unbuttoned shirt leans against a doorframe. After two pages of banter, he steps across the threshold. The door shuts. The chapter ends. At that moment, the reader is cued to assume the characters had sex. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Marriage, Men, Mormon, Women, Young Men, Young Women Tagged With: chastity, consent, Honor Code, romance, sex

Review: Thunder From The Right: Ezra Taft Benson in Mormonism and Politics

March 17, 2019 by WVS

Matthew L. Harris, ed. Thunder From the Right: Ezra Taft Benson in Mormonism and Politics.
Chicago: University of Illinois Press, 2019.
Hardcover, 260 pages.
Footnotes. Bibliography. Index.
Cloth: $99.00. Paper: $27.95. Kindle: $14.95. [Kindle not paginated.]
ISBN-10: 0252042255
ISBN-13: 978-0252042256

Ezra Taft Benson, whose life spanned most of the twentieth century, was an important figure in US politics and religion. Several times a candidate for president of the United States, he was a prominent anti-communist and John Birch Society supporter. An LDS apostle from 1943 until his death in 1994 (Benson became the 13th president of the church in 1985), he was a powerfully conservative voice on traditional roles of women at home rather than the workplace and was the founder of an influential thread of Mormon political philosophy. These themes and others are explored in a new volume edited by historian Matthew Harris (Colorada State Univ-Pueblo), from the University of Illinois Press. Harris recruited a number of familiar voices from the world of Mormon studies, including Gary Bergera, (noted Mormon author), our own Matthew Bowman (assoc. prof. of history, Henderson State Univ.), Newell Bringhurst (emeritus prof. of history), Brian Q. Cannon, (prof. of history, BYU), Robert Goldberg (prof. of history, Univ. of Utah), J. B. Haws (assistant prof. of history, BYU), Andrea G. Radke-Moss (prof. of history BYU-Idaho).

Each of the eight essays provides penetrating scholarship on various aspects of the career of one of the most important and influential Mormon figures of the last century.
[Read more…]

Filed Under: Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Modern Era, Mormon Studies, Post-Manifesto Era, Theology

Study hard, learn lots…and don’t slam the door!

March 13, 2019 by peterllc

When you grow up here, you need all the advice you can get.

I grew up in a rural area, so far away from the nearest bus stop that my dad would drop me and my brother off on his way to work. He would stop on the side of the highway, we would tumble out, and he would invariably holler after us, “Study hard, learn lots, be good, stay out of trouble, and don’t slam the door!” We would mumble, “Yeah, sure, Dad,” in reply, slam the door, and go find our friends. I guess his advice eventually rubbed off though, as I went on to at least study hard and stay out of trouble, even if I didn’t learn much or become very good.

Read moe

Filed Under: Family, Mormon, Society & Culture

Exhausted Heaven

March 6, 2019 by Guest

Mette Ivie Harrison is a well-known mystery and young-adult novelist and frequent BCC guest. She is the author of The Book of Laman, and the forthcoming The Book of Abish, published by BCC Press.

Sometimes Mormons joke about the reality of what heaven looks like, especially for women. I suspect this is doctrine that the institutional church may be turning away from (like the doctrine of ruling planets that makes us just look really weird to other Christians), but the idea that heaven will just be a continuation of all the work women do now is, well, exhausting. In heaven, women will have billions and billions of children, as if gestation happens there as it does here on earth. Women will continue to do visiting teaching (at least that’s what my last Relief Society President said). They will continue to make a lovely home for their husbands and their already birthed children, grandchildren, and so on. There will be no rest or respite in heaven, at least not for women. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Guest Post, Marriage, Mormon, Rants, Relief Society, Theology, Women Tagged With: celestial kingdom, children, exhausted, heaven, Heavenly Mother, mette ivie harrison, mothers, planet, women

From Broken Hearts to Expansive Love

February 26, 2019 by Guest

[BCC Editorial Note: this guest post contains raw and personal details of sexual assault, ecclesiastical abuse, and grace. The content may not be advised for all readers.]

PAR has degrees from places warm and sunny, cold and cloudy, and hot and sticky. None of those degrees led to work he enjoyed. He then realized having a job was the problem and now does his own thing for clients he mostly likes.

I’d like to share a little bit of my journey with you, friend. Because I feel like maybe you don’t see me. Not just me, but people like me. I grew up in the Church. I served a mission. I went to school. I worked. I went to more school. I worked. Then I went to more school. In school round three, I met my now-wife. Through that point I probably voted like you. I knew the prescribed answers at church really well. You probably saw me as a model Mormon. Sometimes, though, life happens. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Family, Guest Post, Mormon Tagged With: atonement, broken, discipline, ecclesiastical endorsement, Jesus, lgbt, love, sexual assault, temple recommend interview

My Valentine to the Church

February 14, 2019 by Carolyn

It’s Valentine’s Day, and I’ve felt inspired to take a moment and write some reflections on my gratitude and love for the Church.

My last few weeks have sparked a renewed joy in the gospel. Two years ago I left my cluster of friends in the one and only true ward (thanks California!). Ever since, I’ve felt a little aloof from the heart of Mormonism. Yet recently, my Sabbath experience has been refreshed as a delight.

The new two-hour block and Come Follow Me curriculum seems to have galvanized my ward — gospel doctrine discussions have increased in thoughtfulness; Relief Society lessons have increased in vulnerability. I’ve heard raw and inspiring commentary from the pulpit during Sacrament Meeting; slightly shorter talks have focused the content on Christ. My family created a listserv to discuss the Book of Mormon; my friend circle Mormon Studies book clubs are going strong. An intimate discussion on the temple overflowed with wisdom and hope. I love the emphasis on ministering and the ways I’ve begun connecting with every individual in my ministering circle. Then last Sunday, I had a conversation with my Bishop that embodied the best of pastoral care.

When the body of Christ is healthy, it is truly divine. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Holiday, Marriage, Mormon, Religion, Sunday School, Young Men, Young Women Tagged With: body of Christ, community, love, Mormon, support, valentine's day

Infertility and Choosing Motherhood

February 8, 2019 by Jessie Jensen

When we first got married, my husband, Jon, and I figured we’d eventually have three children, but agreed to wait and enjoy life with just the two of us for a good long while. During those first couple years, my periods went from problematic to extremely painful, and then debilitating, culminating in an embarrassing incident in the mother’s room at church where an investigator found me writhing on the floor and throwing up from pain. Visitors welcome! This was a turning point for me though, because once I was recovered enough for Jon to walk me to the car, the Primary president (who was the first person the investigator found when she ran for help, whom Jon had to talk down from calling an ambulance) kindly insisted, “This isn’t normal; it doesn’t need to be like this,” and urged me to see the reproductive endocrinologist who had helped her daughter with similar symptoms. I made an appointment the next day.

He believed me. I cried in his office! (I am not a public crier.) I was just so grateful to be validated instead of having my pain be downplayed again. (I had been told by more than one doctor to just take Midol.) [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Family, Mormon, Women Tagged With: infertility, motherhood

“Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord” #BCCSundaySchool2019 (Part 1)

January 29, 2019 by Carolyn

Come Follow Me Manual Recommended Readings: Matthew 3 (quoting Isaiah 40); Mark 1; Luke 3; John 1.

Upfront Note: In preparing my BCC Sunday School lesson this week, I realized my content was divided into two major chunks — one whimsical about Godspell, and one academic about the history of baptism. For ease of use and commentary, I’m publishing them as two separate back-to-back posts. Part 2 is here.

The God Who Stoops

January 28, 2019 by Carolyn

In discussing the advance of women’s rights, Ruth Bader Ginsburg has often remarked that when we set women on a pedestal, we actually lock them in a cage.

I’ve been wondering lately whether the same could be said about God. (And even more so, Heavenly Mother.) When we consign our Heavenly Parents to a throne of glory in the distant heavens, we’re actually locking them behind human constructs of divinity. We’re building a wall of checkpoints and purity standards, then barring all we deem unholy or unclean from approaching their mercy.

Our all-to-common vision of God on a celestial pedestal gets it all backwards. To borrow a phrase from Rachel Held Evans’s latest book Inspired: our God stoops. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Anciently Revealed, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Mormon Tagged With: God, Heavenly Mother, Heavenly Parents, inspired, lost sheep, love, rachel held evans, stoop, worthiness

When the Primary President Doesn’t Love Kids

January 26, 2019 by Guest

Today’s guest post comes from Rebbie Brassfield, a copywriter in Los Angeles.

I was 29 years old and just discovering our infertility when I got called as the Primary President.

This calling was so far from any natural ability I possess that I had not seen it coming. Not even when the Bishop invited us to his office on a Saturday. Not even when the words came out of his mouth.

I sat there stunned, unable to hide my dismay. It made no sense to call a childless woman to be in charge of a bunch of kids – what could I know about them? Not to mention that since growing up I’d always been self-conscious of the fact I wasn’t naturally “good with kids.” I worried over how I would fare as a mother when I seemed to be the only one of the Young Women who disliked babysitting.

I was currently serving as the Primary secretary, and the calling had been both a reminder of the children I yearned for and a potent birth control. Each week I sat in the back, awed that such small people could wield so much power. They rarely behaved or folded their arms or listened – some weeks it felt like they intentionally rallied to torch the whole lesson or bleed the teacher of all her candy. They frankly terrified me, and that terror swirled in my mind as I sat looking up at my expectant Bishop. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Family, Guest Post, Mormon, Primary, Women Tagged With: infertility, motherhood, primary

Part II – Environmental Supports for Your Classroom #TeachingPrimaryCFM

January 19, 2019 by Guest

hannah-rodrigo-320734-unsplash

L. Williams holds a Masters Degree in Speech-Language Pathology, and is currently completing work towards a PhD. For the last 7 years she has provided speech therapy to children in private clinics, public schools, and research settings. Her background includes training in applied behavioral analysis (ABA), and she specializes in supporting children with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) who are minimally verbal. This post is the second of a two-part series.

The previous post outlined how you can begin to thoughtfully consider the challenging behaviors you see in your classroom. Many challenging behaviors can be addressed simply through environmental supports. In other words, how you physically structure your classroom can make a big difference in how your kids behave. If you spend time in the schools and special education, you won’t be surprised by anything on this list. For everyone else, I hope you find these suggestions helpful. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Primary Tagged With: #teachingprimarycfm, routines, seating, sensory, visual supports

Part I: Challenging Classroom Behaviors #TeachingPrimaryCFM

January 18, 2019 by Guest

The goal of this post is to provide background information about challenging behaviors you might encounter in your classroom. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Primary Tagged With: #teachingprimarycfm, behavior, communication, primary, stress, teaching