Resources for My Mixed Faith Marriage

May 11, 2022 by Guest

Rachael lives in Arizona with her husband and three kiddos. They moved to the desert from the green hills of Virginia where she did a PhD in religious history and gender.

Early in our marriage, my husband and I joined the growing ranks of mixed faith marriages when it became clear his spiritual path no longer tracked with the LDS church. Such marriages have risen from around 20% in the 1960s to around 40% or more today, but while we are in considerable company, that didn’t make me feel better about our prospects. Naomi Schaefer Riley’s survey of interfaith couples in Til Faith Do Us Part not only found these marriages were significantly more likely to end in divorce, but in those that remained intact, the families tended to be less religiously observant and parents were more likely to delegate their children’s religious instruction to institutions outside the family.

Gender and the LDS Church in the Global South, Part 2

March 16, 2022 by Holly Miller

Participants in various geographies valued their church membership for helping them differentiate themselves from the ‘outside’ culture. Fijian participants valued the church’s progressiveness (see Part 1); US and NZ participants valued the church’s respect for motherhood. Furthermore, responses to the 2019 temple updates reveal a gap in priorities between Fijian, US, and NZ participants.

An ethnographic introduction to issues of gender and religion in the Global South.

Gender and the LDS Church in the Global South, Part 1

March 6, 2022 by Holly Miller

I didn’t suspect that inviting the missionaries for dinner would launch a research project.

While we were eating, the Fijian missionary mentioned that showing good table manners in her home meant that her dad (the LDS bishop) and brothers ate first. After the men and boys had eaten, her mom and sisters ate the leftovers.

Because I was interested, I wrote down her exact quote: “I have four sisters and three brothers. My brothers are good at eating. I wished there to be enough.” With good humor, she made this comment with a laugh and her head held high.

“I have four sisters and three brothers. My brothers are good at eating. I wished there to be enough.”

Talking with this missionary about the gender-based rules and traditions in her culture made me wonder how the gendered practices of the church are interpreted in places like her Latter-Day Saint home and her Latter-Day Saint ward.

Mitt Romney, the Expanded EITC and Marriage Penalties

October 2, 2021 by Sam Brunson

On Thursday, Utah Senator Mitt Romney sent a letter, signed by him and 34 of his Republican colleagues, to Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Finance Committee Chair Ron Wyden. In the letter, he objects to marriage penalties built into the House’s reconciliation bill, marriage penalties, he claims, that are exacerbated by the changes made to the earned income tax credit (the “EITC”). He concludes his letter saying, “We believe that marriage is a vital social good. It is misguided and unfair for the government to build bigger barriers for couples to marry.”So is Sen. Romney right? Does the reconciliation bill (available here) increase marriage penalties and disincentivize marriage?

Signs of a True Church

July 25, 2021 by Holly Miller

Infuriating. Intriguing.

Why did I find this sign intriguing, even endearing, when I saw it on a church in the Cook Islands last week … but would find it frustrating if I saw it on my LDS church building back at home?

Why would I feel a sense of loss if this church in the Cook Islands decided to be more inclusive and modern but cringe when my own church gives any indication of non-inclusivity or traditionalism?

Mormon Men Write Their Own Script

July 1, 2021 by Holly Miller

[part 7 in an ongoing series about LDS missions and missionary work]

The organizers of the I’m a Mormon campaign produced inspirational videos about women who didn’t fit the mold of the traditional Mormon woman. One of the campaign’s authors stated that the videos were meant to show that “Mormon women write their own script.”

Some LDS women reacted with confusion and a sense of betrayal. Neylan McBaine, one of the creators, captured this confusion by quoting a letter received by their marketing team:

Dear Missionaries: 5 Tips for Working With Members Like Me

May 20, 2021 by Holly Miller

Part 2 in an ongoing series about LDS missions and missionaries.

Dear Missionaries,

It takes skill and courage to insert yourself into other people’s lives in a respectful way, a helpful way. When you come from a different culture and a different generation, it’s easy to misstep.

I live in a secular, Westernized country: New Zealand. Most of my friends know very little about religion. They have rarely stepped inside a church or mosque or opened a book of scripture.

My secular friends perceive religion the way it shows up in the news and TV scripts, as fundamentalist and radical. They are wary of people who take religion too seriously. But they know me, and so they are cautiously willing to meet you.

Although your good-heartedness will carry the day without any help from me, I’m offering you a few tips for making the most of our time together.

1-CALL ME “HOLLY”

When you teach my friends, refer to me in the same way that I introduce myself to you. Call me the same thing that my friends call me.

A doctor named Stella¹ came to my house a couple of days ago to meet with you (sisters). You called me “Sister Jones” and referred to my partner as “President Jones.”

Using Stella’s first name – but my last name – felt out of balance. Also, my church title would have appeared formal and unfamiliar to my houseguest and friend.

Praying that All My Kids Would Serve Missions and Marry in the Temple

May 13, 2021 by Holly Miller

BCC welcomes Holly Miller, who will be publishing a series of articles about LDS missions. Holly earned an MA in Religious Studies and an MM in Classical Piano. She is an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, raised in Utah, living with her family in New Zealand. Email: imagine.inspire.inquire@gmail.com

This is the story of a 20-year prayer experiment.

It started in 1993 in the MTC with Sr. Bean.

As I walked out of class one day, my idol-teacher, Sr Bean, asked if I’d hang back for a second.

I admired Sr Bean the way a kid sister admires a wise and glamorous older sister. I can still picture the brown flush of the leather cross-over shoes she wore. I got a matching pair when I got home from my mission. I remember the way she’d set her jaw when she got serious, the skin on her cheekbones, and her stories.

Earlier that day in class, I had shared a scripture about praying with real intent. I had made a case for the idea that rattling off memorized phrases while praying is useless.

After class that day, in this rare, intimate exchange with Sr Bean – the only time it was just the two of us – Sr Bean told me that her family had a tradition of ending every prayer in the exact same way. They ended every prayer by praying that they would all “go on missions and get married in the temple.” She said that all 8 (?) of the kids in that family repeated that memorized prayer from the time they were little until the time they left home, over every meal and at every family prayer.

She said, “If there ever was a phrase that was rattled off without thinking, that would have been it. But, guess what happened? We grew up, and all 8 of us went on missions and got married in the temple.”

This is the moment my 20-year prayer experiment was conceived.

Reflections on Heartbreak and Choice

October 28, 2020 by Guest

Dear Brother Givens,

I came across your post on abortion today. I confess that I did not read it carefully because I am trying to be kinder to myself. From what I did read, you quote several writers and statistics, and ultimately ground your opinions in your own visceral reactions to abortion and especially the procedures used in the second and third trimester. I wonder, though, did you try to speak directly to any women who have had abortions? Did you read any firsthand accounts of abortions by women who do not regret them? Did you send out a call to your general female acquaintance to share their experiences with you? I guarantee that you personally know some women who have had abortions, though, given what you wrote, I am not sure they would have trusted you with their experiences.

Here is what I would have told you. I have been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from childhood. I served a mission. I have held many callings. I remained chaste until marriage and remain faithful in my marriage. And I had an abortion a few years ago on the first day of my fifteenth week of pregnancy.

Excluding Our Fellow Saints From the Sacrament

April 29, 2020 by Sam Brunson

In Illinois, we’re now halfway through our sixth week under a stay-at-home order (and my family’s seventh week at home). And the stay-at-home order looks like it’s going to last at least another month here. That means at least 12 Sundays in Illinois without meeting together at church (and, even when the stay-at-home order ends, some people may make the eminently responsible and defensible decision to continue social distancing, and delay their return to church).

Ultimately, I don’t think putting church meetings on hold is optimal. (To be clear, it’s both necessary and good. It’s just not ideal.) We need human contact, and we need the spiritual benefits that come from gathering together. That said, it’s necessary, and on net, saving the lives and the health of our fellow Saints is both beneficial and will bless us and them.

Still, this extended time away from church means that some people—single women and families without priesthood holders in the home, for example—won’t have the ability to take the sacrament for three months or more.

The church has made a tentative stab at recognizing the position these women and families are in. On April 16, the church provided instructions for administering the church during the pandemic. The instructions provide that “In unusual circumstances when the sacrament is not available, members can be comforted by studying the sacrament prayers and recommitting to live the covenants members have made and praying for the day they will receive it in person, properly administered by the priesthood.” [Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Doctrine & Policy, Liturgy, Marriage, Modern Era, Modernly Revealed, Mormon, Theology, Doctrine & Policy, Women Tagged With: administer, coronavirus, covid-19, D&C 132, D&C 20, nauvoo, pandemic, polygamy, priesthood, sacrament, Scripture, witness, women

Handholding At BYU: Just For Temple Marriage?

March 4, 2020 by Sam Brunson

CES just issued a letter attempting to clarify its removal of the Honor Code section entitled “Homosexual Behavior.” To further clarify BYU’s position, its Honor Code office posted a Q&A, which included this:

Can members of our campus community who identify as LGBTQ or SSA be disciplined for going on a date, holding hands and kissing?
Elder Johnson in his letter counsels, “Same-sex romantic behavior cannot lead to eternal marriage and is therefore not compatible with the principles included in the Honor Code.” Therefore, any same-sex romantic behavior is a violation of the principles of the Honor Code.

This raises a handful of questions, and I’d love it if the BYU Honor Code office could answer them:

When I was at BYU (years and years ago), I learned about NCMO (non-committal make-outs). The non-committal part suggests that it cannot lead to eternal marriage. Therefore, is it not compatible with principles included in the Honor Code?
For that matter, most dates and relationships aren’t going to end up in eternal marriage. So is most heterosexual dating incompatible with the principles included in the Honor Code?
For that matter, hanging out with member of your own gender is unlikely to lead to eternal marriage. So are girls’ nights incompatible with the principles included in the Honor Code? How about guys hanging out playing Xbox?
What about members who date and marry nonmembers? Those relationships are at best unlikely to lead to eternal marriage. Is dating a nonmember incompatible with the principles included in the Honor Code?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Marriage Tagged With: byu, Honor Code, LGBTq, ncmo

The Meetinghouse and the Temple

January 13, 2020 by Guest

Michael Haycock has a bachelor’s from Yale and a master’s in religion from Claremont Graduate University. He currently serves as the Ecumenical/Christian Life Coordinator at Georgetown. Views are, of course, his own.

LDS theology is like the double helix of DNA, unzipped: it has two parallel strands that circle around each other, but which rarely connect.

On one strand rests the Meetinghouse, with much of the Christianity we received through scripture ancient and modern and which we share with much of Christendom.

On the other is the Temple, the divine anthropology of the eternal family, and eternal progression, which we hold unique among Christian faiths. [1]

I am convinced that much of the theological friction within the LDS Church is born of the gaps between these two theological strands, amplified by official near-silence on how to bind them together. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Anciently Revealed, Children, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Guest Post, Liturgy, Marriage, Modernly Revealed, Mormon, Religion, Scriptures, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy Tagged With: Christ, Christianity, family, meetinghouse, ordinances, plan of salvation, Proclamation on the Family, sealing, temple, theology

I’m terrified about having kids.

January 6, 2020 by Carolyn

I just spent the holidays with family. I’ve been married a year. I’m approaching my mid-30s. And due to an unrelenting year at work, I’ve gained some weight. So perhaps unsurprisingly, the last few weeks have featured a conversational dance of hinted “are-you-pregnant” questions.

I’ve ignored the hints and laughed off the passing comments about future grandchildren. What I haven’t responded with is my honest answer: I’m terrified about having kids. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Church Programs, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Health & Medicine, Marriage, Modern Era, Mormon, Relief Society, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy, Women, Young Women Tagged With: children, faith, family, fear, Feminism, kids, Marriage, Proclamation on the Family

Women Witnesses for Ordinances

October 2, 2019 by Carolyn

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced this morning that women can now serve as witnesses for baptisms and temple sealings.

I’m thrilled about this change. As I wrote two years ago, the Church’s longtime refusal to let women serve as witnesses contradicted Jesus Christ’s own example of choosing women to be the first witnesses of his Resurrection. And as co-blogger Jonathan Stapley details, women as witnesses has long precedence in the modern Church as well.

This change matters. It’s not just a technical hand-waving exercise. Women witnessing our saving ordinances matter. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Church Programs, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Marriage, Mormon, Relief Society, Religion, Scriptures, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy, Women, Young Women Tagged With: ordinances, primitive church, revelation, witness, witnesses, women

LGB Saints at Church: Some Challenges

June 29, 2019 by Guest

Michael is from a multigenerational Latter-day Saint family but has spent the majority of his life outside of the Mormon corridor. He’s not employed by academia but looks for opportunities to scratch his academic itch.

PREFACE

When the Church retracted the November 2015 set of LGB-related Church policies I felt relief, like taking a breath of air after too much time underwater. As the news sunk in, one common reaction I saw was would-be allies asking what everyday Latter-day Saints could do to make their LGBT brothers and sisters feel more welcome.

Most of the proffered answers to that question focused on changing doctrine, policy, and teachings. That is not my answer — or at least, not my starting point. I intend to adapt the question Neylan McBaine poses in Women at Church: “accepting the doctrines and policies we have in place in the Church today, how can we help improve [LGB]-cooperative practices on the local level so as to relieve unnecessary tensions caused by cultural or historically normative practices?” [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Guest Post, Marriage, Men, Mormon, Women Tagged With: gay, lgbt, LGBTq, Pride, women

Clearance vs. Cancellation

June 26, 2019 by Angela C

From the Women’s Bible Commentary:

Deuteronomy prohibits the husband, who sought to secure for himself a cheap divorce from his spurned bride, from ever divorcing her. To our ears, this provision sounds appalling, binding a young girl for the rest of her life to a man who “hates” her. In patriarchal ancient Judah, where women’s social status and economic survival depended on membership in a male-headed household, the provision was probably intended to guarantee her security.

The Deuteronomic law relies on some assumptions that don’t match our modern interpretation of marriage:

Women in marriage are entitled to protection because they are unable to protect themselves.
Men in marriage are obligated to protect the women they marry because those women are otherwise unable to protect themselves.

In the iron age society of Deuteronomy, marriage entitles women but obligates men. Restricting men from abandoning their obligation is the objective of restrictions on divorce, not an intention to protect women from harm within the marriage relationship (which isn’t addressed), but to require men to protect women from a patriarchal society in which they have no standing or power and are financially and physically vulnerable. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Anciently Revealed, Church Programs, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Marriage, Men, Mormon, Scriptures, Society & Culture, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy, Women

The Unborn

May 17, 2019 by Angela C

The appointment of conservative justice Bret Kavanaugh has emboldened some states to take a run at challenging Roe v. Wade by putting forward legislation to outlaw abortion that is a deliberate overreach to force the issue in front of the Supreme Court.[1] From my own conversations with fellow ward members, one reason many LDS voters chose to elect Trump in 2016 is that they, like many social conservatives, vehemently oppose abortion and would like to see the overturn of Roe v. Wade.[2] However, LDS theology is not nearly as anti-abortion as many other conservative religions. Like many other platforms, this is one where both parties’ views are potentially consistent with the church’s stance. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Current Events, Education, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Marriage, Mormon, Politics, Religion, Science, Society & Culture, Theology, Women

Love: A Proclamation to the World

May 15, 2019 by Guest

Today’s Proclamation is courtesy of best-selling author Mette Ivie Harrison.

I proclaim to my family of Latter-day Saints today that love is the organizing principle of the universe and that it is the most important value of all previous generations, all future generations, and of this generation. The pure love of Christ is the foundation of all that we do as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is what teaches us to find the divine in ourselves. It is what allows us to see ourselves and others more clearly. It is the only thing that enables us to become better people: kinder, more compassionate, more understanding, more expansive in our views, wiser, more learned, and more capable of serving others truly—without judgment or superiority. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Church Programs, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Marriage, Mormon, Religion, TCoJCoLDS, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy Tagged With: love, proclamation, Proclamation on the Family

Latter-day Saint Parents, Please Stop Apologizing for Your Child’s Wedding

April 26, 2019 by Guest

Emily B. grew up in New Hampshire but currently lives in Maryland, where she spends most of her time writing and teaching writing classes. She holds an MFA in Creative Writing from BYU and just finished a PhD in English at the University of Georgia. She and her husband have no children but two very spoiled cats.

Last summer while attending a conference for work, I met a woman from Utah, Trudy (not her real name). It was one of those contexts where we quickly figured out that we were both members of the Church and started chatting, just making small talk. Trudy asked if I had attended this conference before, and I explained that I had meant to attend the previous year but that my sister’s wedding plans had changed, preventing me from going. She then told me all about her adult children and her son’s upcoming wedding.

“Congratulations!” I said. “That’s exciting!”
“Well…” Trudy said, grimacing a little. She sighed.

Instantly, I knew what she was about to say. It’s a sigh and grimace I’ve seen on many occasions when a Latter-day Saint parent, or perhaps even a sibling, mentions an upcoming wedding. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Doctrine & Policy, Family, Guest Post, Marriage, Mormon Tagged With: Marriage, nonmember, sealing, temple, wedding

Personal Revelation and Sustaining Prophets

April 6, 2019 by Guest

Rachel Allred lives in California and loves her husband, her toddler, and ice cream (not necessarily in that order). She generally tries to make the world a more empathetic place.

I literally started crying in the cab Thursday. It was a Lyft. The driver asked if I was okay; I told him I was.

I knew The Policy was wrong. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. I felt like death when it was announced. My heart sank. My lungs filled with lead. My mind started screaming. My soul recoiled. I don’t know how else to say it. I was just completely numb. I walked around in a vaguely ragey, disbelieving fog for days.

That weekend in November 2015, my beloved husband and I (this was back when he went to church; I’ve wondered since if the policy was the beginning of the end) went to a thrift store to buy clothes with rainbow patterns. We specifically chose a thrift store whose proceeds are donated to LGBTQ support organizations. We wore our rainbows to church that Sunday. We went with subtle patterns. Too subtle, maybe, because we had to tell people that’s what we were doing, but I was playing the organ so at least some people noticed. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Guest Post, Marriage, Men, Mormon, Scriptures, Theology, Women Tagged With: exclusion, gay, LGBTq, policy, Prop8, prophets, proposition 8, sustaining

Heresy and Prophesy

April 5, 2019 by Carolyn

Humans are really bad at accurately identifying heretics and prophets. Christ preached as much (“no prophet is accepted in his own country”) — and was executed for it (“by our law he ought to die, because he made himself the Son of God”). Christ himself is both the world’s most renowned heretic and its greatest prophet.

It’s easy to confuse the two concepts because the definitions of heresy and prophesy mirror each other. They both hinge on the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

The Bible teaches that those who testify of Christ have the gift of prophesy. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints embraces this testifying definition of prophets.

St. Thomas Aquinas defines heresy as professing faith in Christ, while corrupting His Gospel. William Tyndale similarly explains that heresy springs “out of the blind hearts of hypocrites” who “cannot comprehend the light of scripture.” [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Marriage, Men, Mormon, Theology, Doctrine & Policy, Women Tagged With: heresy, lgbt, prophesy

Let Love be Love

April 5, 2019 by Guest

Nicole is a mother, feminist, and activist living in the Salt Lake Valley with her partner Kerstin and blended family of seven. She credits the women in her life for shaping her values and her hope for a world filled with compassion, authenticity, and uncompromising love.

It’s so hard to find any words to express my feelings about the news about the changed policy.

I type and delete and type and delete.

I couldn’t find the right words because I couldn’t find words that were true enough to myself, but that I thought would be safe from hurting or offending my family who are still members. I love my family very much and they have been so great with Kerstin and me. Since they’ve been so careful not to hurt us, I really, really don’t want to hurt them.

I think I’d just like to describe my dream world. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Church Programs, Current Events, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Guest Post, Marriage, Mormon, Religion Tagged With: apologies, apostasy, change, exclusion, family, gay, homosexuality, lgbt, love, policy, pox, unconditional love

On Chastity and Closed Doors

April 3, 2019 by Carolyn

I have a fondness for cheesy Christian romance novels. Their plots feature all of the emotional turmoil and external drama of harlequin romance novels – but they add faith crises and subtract sex.

One trope in these novels is to set up a wicked foil to the wholesome protagonist. In-need-of-repentance characters lurk in the subplots, steeped in dark allusions and transgressed boundaries. Think of Mr. Wickham in Pride and Prejudice. Jane Austen evinces plenty of scandal, yet there are zero explicit mentions of sex.

In order to stay “clean,” Christian novelists have learned to invoke religiously-tinged shame by writing proxies for sex. All “sin” happens off-screen. A common scene is the chance encounter after dark. A woman stands in the shadows, heart pounding, face lit by candlelight. A man with a half-unbuttoned shirt leans against a doorframe. After two pages of banter, he steps across the threshold. The door shuts. The chapter ends. At that moment, the reader is cued to assume the characters had sex. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Marriage, Men, Mormon, Women, Young Men, Young Women Tagged With: chastity, consent, Honor Code, romance, sex

Exhausted Heaven

March 6, 2019 by Guest

Mette Ivie Harrison is a well-known mystery and young-adult novelist and frequent BCC guest. She is the author of The Book of Laman, and the forthcoming The Book of Abish, published by BCC Press.

Sometimes Mormons joke about the reality of what heaven looks like, especially for women. I suspect this is doctrine that the institutional church may be turning away from (like the doctrine of ruling planets that makes us just look really weird to other Christians), but the idea that heaven will just be a continuation of all the work women do now is, well, exhausting. In heaven, women will have billions and billions of children, as if gestation happens there as it does here on earth. Women will continue to do visiting teaching (at least that’s what my last Relief Society President said). They will continue to make a lovely home for their husbands and their already birthed children, grandchildren, and so on. There will be no rest or respite in heaven, at least not for women. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Guest Post, Marriage, Mormon, Rants, Relief Society, Theology, Women Tagged With: celestial kingdom, children, exhausted, heaven, Heavenly Mother, mette ivie harrison, mothers, planet, women

My Valentine to the Church

February 14, 2019 by Carolyn

It’s Valentine’s Day, and I’ve felt inspired to take a moment and write some reflections on my gratitude and love for the Church.

My last few weeks have sparked a renewed joy in the gospel. Two years ago I left my cluster of friends in the one and only true ward (thanks California!). Ever since, I’ve felt a little aloof from the heart of Mormonism. Yet recently, my Sabbath experience has been refreshed as a delight.

The new two-hour block and Come Follow Me curriculum seems to have galvanized my ward — gospel doctrine discussions have increased in thoughtfulness; Relief Society lessons have increased in vulnerability. I’ve heard raw and inspiring commentary from the pulpit during Sacrament Meeting; slightly shorter talks have focused the content on Christ. My family created a listserv to discuss the Book of Mormon; my friend circle Mormon Studies book clubs are going strong. An intimate discussion on the temple overflowed with wisdom and hope. I love the emphasis on ministering and the ways I’ve begun connecting with every individual in my ministering circle. Then last Sunday, I had a conversation with my Bishop that embodied the best of pastoral care.

When the body of Christ is healthy, it is truly divine. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Holiday, Marriage, Mormon, Religion, Sunday School, Young Men, Young Women Tagged With: body of Christ, community, love, Mormon, support, valentine's day

Rethinking Worthiness

January 4, 2019 by Carolyn

Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.

For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him. (D&C 18:10)

I learned an important truth this year: the worth of souls bears no relationship to a soul’s “worthiness.”

A year ago I left the corporate world to pursue my civil rights lawyer dream. One aspect of my new work is fighting for Muslims’ right to follow the pillars of Islam in prison. My first visit to prison will forever stand as one of the most spiritual days of my life. I met with humble men who frankly admitted their mistakes, implored God to grant them the mercy to improve, and asked for an opportunity to practice their faith in peace. They sought to better the religious experience not just for themselves, but for all of their brothers and sisters. Sitting with them, I glimpsed the depth of God’s abundant love.

I may have been physically sitting with convicted criminals behind seven layers of lockdown security, but spiritually I stood with angels on hallowed ground. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. (Romans 8:38). Prisons that day became my temples. For I was in prison, and ye visited me. (Matthew 25:36). [Read more…]

Filed Under: Anciently Revealed, Comparative/Ecumenical, Current Events, Doctrine & Policy, Marriage, Mormon, Religion, Scriptures, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy Tagged With: Catholicism, chastity, souls, temple, temple recommend interview, worth, worthiness

Jesus, Born of Woman

December 24, 2018 by Angela C

The book of Matthew sets the scene for Jesus’ life and ministry by delineating a selective genealogy. Among the names listed, Matthew names five socially controversial women, each with a fascinating back story of her own: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary. Each of these women was failed by a patriarchal system, and each overcame that adversity through cleverness and loyalty. Although each of these women represents a controversial story in a patriarchal society, they each turn that system against itself to their advantage. Each of these women was regarded by early Christians as righteous for it, even if their own contemporary society would have cast them as sinners. The stories told about them reveal them to be more righteous than the clueless men who held them back until they educated them. [1] What better forebears for Jesus could there be? [Read more…]

Filed Under: Family, Gender & Sexuality, Holiday, Marriage, Scriptures, Society & Culture, Women

New Church Videos Explain the Temple to the General Public

December 13, 2018 by Carolyn

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints just published a glossy series of 90-second explanations of our core temple practices.

I’m amazed at how much demystifying content these videos succeed in outlining in less than seven minutes of total video time.

Here are the highlights.

Reasons Why I’m Not Changing My Name, Ranked

November 15, 2018 by Carolyn

I’m married! Which means some of my acquaintances have mysteriously stopped calling me “Carolyn Homer” and started calling me variations on “Mrs. Carolyn Jones.”

My name has not changed. It will not change. I am “Carolyn Homer” for life. I anticipate and will be amused by occasional mix-ups — but my name is my name. Names matter.

Hopefully my decision is no longer viewed as a big deal. But I’ve gotten a bit of pushback from more conservative/traditional corners, including from within the Church. So for slightly whimsical explanatory sake, here are the reasons why I’m keeping my name, ranked.

15. Jones is a boring last name. It’s a Top 5 most common surname in America, held by millions. I am not a boring person.

14. I never want to be the target of a “keeping up with the Joneses” joke. Ever. [Read more…]

Filed Under: BCC Funbag, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Marriage, Mormon, Women Tagged With: life, Marriage, names

Why I’m Marrying in a Catholic Basilica

October 31, 2018 by Carolyn

With the Vatican’s approval, I’m marrying my Catholic fiancé in St. Mary’s Basilica in Old Town Alexandria this Saturday. Yay! I’m so excited to celebrate true love, surrounded by my family and friends.

Some of those family and friends are a little befuddled. As a former hyper-devoted Mormon, I can see the confusion in their eyes, the unstated curiosity about why I’m not marrying in the temple. Only a few have ventured to ask the question directly.

I believe it is important to give an honest answer. This is my story. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Church Programs, Comparative/Ecumenical, Doctrine & Policy, Gender & Sexuality, Marriage, Mormon, Religion, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy, Women, Young Women Tagged With: catholic, Catholicism, Divorce, endowment, engagement, Marriage, sealing, temple