Tobias Funke is a character on the TV series Arrested Development who constantly says things that have a double meaning, but without recognizing that there’s a double meaning. Often in online groups, people will post statements or pictures, particularly things done by BYU, that suffer the same problem: unintentional double entendre. A few of Tobias Funke’s most famous lines: [Read more…]
Soundtrack to the Inauguration
January 20, 2017 by
Today, Donald Trump transitions from president-elect to president.
I’m struggling here to figure out what to write. I want to write that we elected a valueless misogynistic, race-baiting, xenophobic know-nothing as president, but I confess I’m not sure where to go from there.
I want to decry Mormons’ participation in the Inauguration, only I’m not sure what I can add to what Peter has already said. (Also, what Peter has already said.)
I do know, though, where I’m going to turn musically. Noah Preminger has just released Meditations on Freedom, a protest album, just in time for the new presidency. [Read more…]
Welcome to #MutualNight: Delfeayo Marsalis
October 26, 2016 by
I can’t, for the life of me, remember when I first heard it, but I do remember hearing (or reading) that, once upon a time, a significant part of Mutual was introducing Mormon youth to the best of literature, music, art, and other learning. After doing some quick Googling that suggested, but didn’t prove, that my memory was right, I did what any right-thinking person would do: I messaged Ardis. And she was kind enough to respond that yes, the M.I.A. had once been a repository of learning about art and culture.
Satisfied, I decided to follow through on my main reason for searching and asking: the introduction of a virtual M.I.A. Periodically (and undoubtedly irregularly), I plan on introducing and writing about some type of art, music, or literature that I’m enjoying, and what makes it worth sampling. While I doubt that most of my picks will have any significant Mormon connection, I consider this as Mormon a blogging topic as any that I’ve blogged. After all, we have not only roots in the M.I.A. program, but we have scriptural injunctions to seek after anything praiseworthy or of good report, and to learn out of the best books. [Read more…]
Mormon Deepities
February 20, 2016 by
What is a deepity?
Something that sounds profound but intellectually hollow.
Usually has the following characteristics. 1. True but trivial 2. False but logically ill informed. 3. Usually a use-mention error or (UME) To the extent that it’s true, it doesn’t matter. To the extent that it matters, it isn’t true.
What is a UME? Confusing the word used to describe a thing, with the thing itself.
Daniel Dennett, the prominent atheist author who coined the term “deepity” in 2009, argues that theology is full of deepities. To which I say, I know you are, but what am I? [Read more…]
Happy Intergalactic Bowie Day!
January 8, 2016 by
Today is David Bowie’s 69th birthday. Today David Bowie released ★ (“Blackstar”), his 26th studio album in his five decade-ish career. And Seattle’s KEXP has declared today Intergalactic Bowie Day.[fn]
I’m not part of the Bowie cognoscenti. I mean, I’m familiar with him in the way that anybody who’s part of American culture is familiar with him—I know about Ziggy Stardust, I’ve seen Labyrinth, I’m familiar with his classic rock radio staples, I laughed at Vanilla Ice’s claim that “Ice Ice Baby”‘s baseline differed in some substantial way from Queen and Bowie’s “Under Pressure,” but I never really dug in deeply to Bowie’s oeuvre. [Read more…]
Christmas Heirlooms
December 11, 2015 by
Czech crystal–a possible future heirloom?
During the month of December, the first rule of BCC is: Advent is not Christmas.
So I’ll be going out on thin ice by jumping the gun and writing about Christmas decorations with the third Sunday of Advent still looming. But you see, I have made a remarkable discovery; rather, my sister has, and I would like to share it. [Read more…]
Once I Was a Beehive in Chicago
October 31, 2015 by
God’s Army came out my senior year at BYU. And it was a revelation. Fifteen years later, I can still remember the impact of seeing a movie, an actual real live movie, about my people, about my experiences. One that took those experiences seriously.
At the time, I was studying English, with a focus on creative writing. And I was thinking seriously—or, at least, as seriously as I could—about Mormon art. I mean, there was plenty of kitsch, plenty of inspiring-but-not-artistic stuff out there. But Richard Dutcher created a Mormon movie without the kitsch, something quality.[fn1]
After I graduated, though, and moved away from Utah, Mormon filmmaking had almost zero impact on me. Some Mormon cinema was great—I have New York Doll sitting in my DVD collection. Some of it wasn’t. Most of it I never saw, because it never came to New York or Chicago, where I lived. So I was excited to hear that Once I Was a Beehive was going to make its Chicago debut on Friday, October 30. [Read more…]
If You Like Trunk-or-Treats You Probably Don’t Have a Testimony
October 23, 2015 by
Because it is Halloween time again, I’ve decided to re-post this important message. The comments to this post are among the most beloved treasures in BCC history, and worthy of your consideration.
Holy crap Trunk-or-Treats are the worst thing in the world and if you believe Trunk-or-Treats are consistent with the Gospel, you are wrong.
What is the point of a Trunk-or-Treat, anyway? When I was a kid and this societal cancer first reached my awareness, I understood that it was born of concern about poisoned candies and apples with razor blades and other dangerous crap that Big Mom was worried about. It probably got its start from the movie E.T., when that punk Elliot didn’t come home on time and Gertie was going on and on to the police officer about her dad being in Mexico with his lover. Halloween + Adultery + Space Aliens = NO MORE TRICK OR TREATING. So, instead of sending the kids out on the streets at night like rational human beings, we line everyone up in a parking lot and distribute candy like it’s freaking Hamsterdam. [Read more…]
Authenticity: Will the Real Me Please Stand Up?
October 13, 2015 by
It’s a common claim among participants of Mormon internet groups that people feel they cannot be themselves at church or can’t say what they think for fear of being ostracized. They feel they are discouraged from being honest or authentic, that they would be rejected if they disagreed with the party line or articulated a non-conforming viewpoint. Certainly many examples have been given of individuals who were viewed suspiciously for sharing unpopular opinions openly. These are complaints that they feel they must be inauthentic to be accepted. [Read more…]
“Once I Was a Beehive”: Must-See Mormon Film of 2015
August 23, 2015 by
“Once I Was a Beehive” (2015)
Go see this film! It’s one of those rare Mormon films that you’ll love, whether you’re Mormon or not. If you live in Utah, it’s playing in theaters until Thursday, August 27, 2015.
I do not pretend to be a connoisseur of Mormon film by any stretch of the imagination, or a movie critic in general, for that matter. In truth, I can add very little to film and theater critic Eric Samuelsen’s excellent review of Once I Was a Beehive, in which he highly recommends the film. I fully endorse his review in the sense that he says exactly what I would have wanted to say but much better than I could have. (Samuelsen’s glowing recommendation means a lot because he is known as somewhat of a cynic or at least a critic — he calls himself the Mormon Iconoclast — about Mormon culture.) But I had a few brief thoughts about it based on my own tastes in literature, film, and culture, and perhaps most importantly, from my perspective as a Mormon father of four Mormon daughters. [Read more…]
Congrats! You have an all male panel! #allmalepanel
June 18, 2015 by
The #allmalepanel Tumblr was started in February 2015 by Finnish feminist researcher and artist Dr. Saara Särmä, 40, whose dissertation was on Internet parody images and memes.[1] Särmä dissertated (or dissed, for short) on the marginalization of women in academia, claiming that some of her colleagues were passed over or outright dismissed as serious thinkers because of their gender.
Why the David Hasselhoff button?
“The Hoff is just simply Hoffsome,” Särmä says. “As a kid who grew up in the 80s watching the Knight Rider, I have a fondness for the Hoff, also he’s the epitome of a white masculinity, isn’t he?”
Indeed. [Read more…]
Role Models
February 2, 2015 by
In my mission farewell talk,[fn1] I spent a little time talking about one of my teenage heroes. Charlie “Bird” Parker was an alto saxophone player who revolutionized jazz. With Dizzy Gillespie, he broke with swing and invented bebop, a faster, more cerebral, more harmonically complex style of music.
I admired the Bird’s virtuosity on the saxophone. I admired his improvisational genius. And I admired his work ethic: he may have had a natural genius, but, as a teenager, he also practiced 11-15 hours a day. And it was this work ethic, as much as anything, that appealed to me, and it was this work ethic that made me think of him as a prepared to leave on my mission.[fn2] [Read more…]
Choices, Choices
October 11, 2014 by
I’ve been reflecting a lot on E. Quentin Cook’s talk called “Choose Wisely.” This was the opening talk of the Priesthood session, so I suppose that makes me not the target audience, and yet it’s clearly a talk with universal application. [1] I won’t let that stop me.
E. Cook begins by talking about the problems when we rationalize our failures to act heroically. He uses the example of Lucy not catching the ball in the Peanuts comic strips.
While always humorous, Lucy’s excuses were rationalizations; they were untrue reasons for her failure to catch the ball.
He then goes on to talk about the eternal ramifications when we rationalize our failure to prepare for our eternal goals. [Read more…]
The Desert Blossoms as the Rose (at Burning Man)
August 26, 2014 by
This week, somewhere in the middle of Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, 50,000 people are gathering for the Burning Man festival, where they do…well, pretty much whatever they want. They trek in their RVs, buses, cars, motorcycles, and erect Black Rock City, where they live for a week in a state of “radical inclusion” and “radical self-expression.” The name “Burning Man” comes from a huge wooden effigy (‘The Man”) they erect at the beginning of the week, and which they burn at the end of the week—the Burning Man.
At the end of the week, no trace of Black Rock City remains. The whole city is built by Burning Man attendees, inhabited for a week, and then torn down and completely erased. (This is not as easy as it might seem—imagine your total water needs for a week in the desert. You’d have to bring that with you, and then carry out any waste and trash.)
Fornication Pantaloons (updated)
August 26, 2014 by
Can we all agree that this is an abominable Gentile fashion? Because Brigham Young certainly can.
For the last year or so, the last page of The Atlantic has been a column called “The Big Question,” where various notable people answer a question posed by the magazine. In September, it asked: “What is the most significant fashion innovation in history?” In Jennifer Barnett’s mind, the runner-up was buttons down the front of men’s pants in the 1830s. Which is how this question ties into Mormonism: Barnett says that this innovation “prompted Brigham Young to denounce them as ‘fornication pantaloons.'”
I had two reactions when I read this. The first was that those two words, put together, may be the greatest phrase in the history of clothing. The second, though, was skepticism. That sounds like too good a story to actually verify. [Read more…]
Are Mormons Too Trusting?
July 4, 2014 by
I send you as sheep among wolves. Or in this case a lone wolf among sheep.
“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” Shakespeare wrote that in All’s Well That Ends Well. Is being trusting a virtue or evidence of lack of discernment? Are Mormons more gullible (as is often asserted or at least implied) than the average person? [Read more…]
A Jungian Interpretation of the First Vision
May 13, 2014 by
You may say I’m a dreamer.
The traditional LDS perspective of the First Vision is that it was a literal visit from two Heavenly beings to an awake and alert Joseph Smith. Joseph consistently refers to it as a vision, not a visit, and his earlier accounts sound (at least to me) more dreamlike than the 1838 version we have recorded in the Pearl of Great Price. Often, visions in scripture are vivid dreams with a meaning that is applied to a broader group than the individual who has the vision.
What if we take the First Vision in the opposite direction, and consider it as a dream with significance to the dreamer rather than a conscious and world-altering event? If a dream, then it is likewise a foray into the subconscious mind of Joseph Smith. This approach is not to dismiss a divine source for the First Vision; just to explore a Jungian perspective on the elements of the vision without regard to its source, as Jung might have done had Joseph been on his couch. [Read more…]
Global Toilets I Have Known: A Memoir
February 7, 2014 by
This toilet no longer scares me. I would use this in a heartbeat.
There are few things we take for granted more than personal waste elimination. The assumptions many Americans share about bathroom habits may include things like: public toilets are a right, privacy (being in “the privy”) is an expectation, we flush pretty much all things – even when cautioned not to do so, we require at least a square or a ply – probably more, and so forth. As an American who has traveled throughout Europe and lived in Asia for 2 1/2 years, my toilet assumptions have been examined, re-examined, and in some cases flushed away. I have become multi-toilet-lingual, able to find comfort, nay relief, in a variety of toilet situations. [Read more…]
BYU Crushes
November 18, 2013 by
I recently was alerted to the existence of a brand new Facebook group at BYU for students to anonymously post notes about their crushes. The student submits their comment to the FB group admins who then re-post it from the site. The comments run the gamut from cutesy to goofy to stalkeresque. [Read more…]
Purity, Rules and Allergies
November 9, 2013 by
Childhood allergies like hay fever are linked to an absence of contact with fecal matter in their early years. [1] In other words, their houses were too clean for them to develop immunity. [2] When antibodies have no real threats to fight off, they’ll pick the next best thing – dust, pet dander, and pollen. [3] I’m pretty sure it would make my mother proud that my hay fever is a byproduct of her obsessive cleanliness. Perhaps this phenomenon also explains why Mormons are prone to creating extra rules on top of our already high standards. Let me explain. [Read more…]
Mormon Marriage Equality
October 10, 2013 by
Are men and women partners or competitors? What about in marriage? Do men feel threatened by wives with successful careers?
Are Mormon marriages more equal or less equal than other marriages? Do Mormon women feel that they are taken seriously and treated as equals by their husbands? Are they encouraged to follow their dreams? Do they find their work (whether at home or in the workplace) meaningful and rewarding? In the give and take of marriage, are men and women giving and taking fairly?
I recently finished reading Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In. In the book, she talks about several things we can do to help women achieve their potential and to help men and women feel more equal and personally satisfied, within their personal lives and in the workplace. This list includes things like: [Read more…]
Songs I Wish Were in the Hymn Book
September 30, 2013 by
Growing up I always thought the image on the hymn book was Angkor Wat.
On my mission, in one city my companion and I had to walk 45 mins to get to our area to teach. We were newly together and frankly, she was driving me nuts. She insisted on singing hymns the entire time we walked through the banana fields and winding rural paths. Relentlessly. Finally, I couldn’t take it any more, so I started belting out Woody Guthrie’s “This Land Is Your Land.” She recoiled as if I had just taken a big swig of Vodka, wiped my mouth, and then offered it to her. But then, she accepted the proffered folk song olive branch and started to sing it with me. She shrugged and said she guessed it was not inappropriate even if it wasn’t a hymn. [Read more…]
Attractive Lies and Boring Truth
September 3, 2013 by
A guest post from Mike Austin. Mike is Provost, Vice President for Academic Affairs, and Professor of English at Newman University in Wichita, Kansas, a member of the Dialogue Board of Directors, and a generally all-around great guy.
Trouble, Right Here in Sal Tlay Ka Siti
“I always think there’s a band, kid.” —Professor Harold Hill in The Music Man
By the time that I figured out that I hated The Music Man, it had been my favorite musical for more than 20 years. When I was ten, my mother took me to see Tony Randall as Professor Harold Hill at the Tulsa Little Theatre, and I was hooked. I listened to the LP for hours at a time, and, when the Robert Preston/Shirley Jones movie came to HBO a few years later, I watched it almost every day for two months. I have seen five stage versions and two film versions of the play a total of probably 30 times. I probably have most of the lines by heart. [Read more…]
A MAD Man Fold-In
May 24, 2013 by
There is something different about Jon McNaughton’s latest painting. Sure it contains the basic elements of distasteful propaganda we’ve come to expect from him over the years, but when I first saw it, it reminded me of the kind of painting I am used to seeing in the pages of MAD Magazine (no offense to “the usual gang of idiots”). Then I saw that the artist himself described the piece as “parody” and I realized I was right. Maybe that is the best context to view “Liberalism Is A Disease”…
Worst Mormon Date Ever
April 17, 2013 by
Maybe if I had brought a cooler that would have been even more awkward.
I just finished reading Brian Donovan’s book Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters. My oldest son starts college in the fall, so I have been feeling nostalgic about my own dating days as a Cougar.[1] What makes a bad Mormon date bad? The same thing that makes any date bad: awkwardness. This is my story.
Are You a Helicopter Parent?
March 21, 2013 by
I recently took an online test to determine if I am a helicopter parent. Ironically, it was a helicopter quiz! After every question, it gave me immediate, condescending feedback about whether my opinion was right or wrong. And with several of the questions, I didn’t like ANY of the options; they were all too helicopter-y for me. Let me give an example from the quiz I took:
When my child brings home a poor grade, I:
- Run directly to the phone to call the teacher. When she doesn’t answer, I call the principal.
- Talk with my child about the grade and contact the teacher to discuss ways we can help my child improve her academic performance.
- Yell and scream at my child and tell her that if she doesn’t bring up her grade, she’ll be grounded.
Mormonism in 2012: A (Fashionably Late) Recap
January 3, 2013 by
I called 2011 “The Year of the Mormon,” and I’m standing by that designation, but what a year we’ve had since then! As the Mormon Moment gets on its bike and rides into the sunset, it’s worth looking back at some of the high points and low points of 2012. Here are my own selections, in no particular order:
Duck Beach to Eternity
October 23, 2012 by
You won’t learn much about Mormonism from watching Duck Beach to Eternity, but you will learn a lot about how Mormonism intersects with current-era, white, upper-middle-class privilege. [Read more…]
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