The No-Longer Policy: Where Do We Go From Here?

April 12, 2019 by

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Today’s guest post comes from Christian Kimball, a longtime friend of By Common Consent.

First, let’s celebrate getting things right. Whether it takes 4 years or 30 years or 100 years, correcting past mistakes is a good.  Let’s recognize and even celebrate the virtue of continuing revelation—the Church’s ability to change, which we tout as a distinctive feature.

Second, let’s recognize that real people have been hurt over a clear mistake.  The harms are wide-ranging, from agonizing over doctrine and institutional loyalty, to seeing loved ones leave the Church, to unrelenting pain in the LGBTQ community, to suicide.  I can witness from personal knowledge that the Policy of Exclusion caused some to feel there were no good options and no viable future for them in this life.  Others internalized the Policy as “you are irredeemably broken.” None of that is good, for anybody.  Reparations, restoration, apologies, corrections, and ongoing improvements are all in order (even if they seem impossible). [Read more…]

Filed Under: Mormon Tagged With: , , , ,

Personal Revelation and Sustaining Prophets

April 6, 2019 by

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Rachel Allred lives in California and loves her husband, her toddler, and ice cream (not necessarily in that order).  She generally tries to make the world a more empathetic place.

I literally started crying in the cab Thursday. It was a Lyft. The driver asked if I was okay; I told him I was.

I knew The Policy was wrong. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. I felt like death when it was announced. My heart sank. My lungs filled with lead. My mind started screaming. My soul recoiled. I don’t know how else to say it. I was just completely numb.  I walked around in a vaguely ragey, disbelieving fog for days.

That weekend in November 2015, my beloved husband and I (this was back when he went to church; I’ve wondered since if the policy was the beginning of the end) went to a thrift store to buy clothes with rainbow patterns.  We specifically chose a thrift store whose proceeds are donated to LGBTQ support organizations. We wore our rainbows to church that Sunday. We went with subtle patterns. Too subtle, maybe, because we had to tell people that’s what we were doing, but I was playing the organ so at least some people noticed.   [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Guest Post, Marriage, Men, Mormon, Scriptures, Theology, Women Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Let Love be Love

April 5, 2019 by

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Nicole is a mother, feminist, and activist living in the Salt Lake Valley with her partner Kerstin and blended family of seven. She credits the women in her life for shaping her values and her hope for a world filled with compassion, authenticity, and uncompromising love.

It’s so hard to find any words to express my feelings about the news about the changed policy.

I type and delete and type and delete.

I couldn’t find the right words because I couldn’t find words that were true enough to myself, but that I thought would be safe from hurting or offending my family who are still members.  I love my family very much and they have been so great with Kerstin and me.  Since they’ve been so careful not to hurt us, I really, really don’t want to hurt them.

I think I’d just like to describe my dream world. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Church Programs, Current Events, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Guest Post, Marriage, Mormon, Religion Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,