love – By Common Consent, a Mormon Blog

I am hyper-social. I am social distancing.

March 15, 2020 by Carolyn

Last May I had an extended business trip that took me to the West Coast for twelve days (Los Angeles, then San Francisco, then Anchorage, then Seattle). While on business, I did what I always do: I looked up my friends in each city, individually texted them, and then scheduled every hour of free time as meals and visits to catch up. I shaved two or so hours off of my sleep schedule each day so I could pack in catching up with more friends.

I love people. One of my most persistent complaints is that there is not enough time in life to be best friends with everyone I think is amazing.

For my own curiosity on my flight back to D.C., I counted the number of friends I had “meaningfully” interacted with in that twelve day period. I defined “meaningful” as “engaged in conversation for at least one hour while hanging out in a group of four or fewer.” The answer was forty-seven. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Church Programs, Current Events, Family, Health & Medicine, Science Tagged With: affliction, coronavirus, covid-19, isolation, lds, love, Mormon, neighbor, plague, quarantine, services, sickness, social distancing

What I Wish My Prophet Would Say

January 20, 2020 by Guest

Kenneth Merrill graduated from BYU with a degree in Philosophy and now works as a cinematographer in Los Angeles, CA. He’s married, with two boys, and in his spare time he likes to play music, rock climb, practice sleight of hand, and read/write—but mostly he just ends up staring at glowing screens.

It was a warm summer day in Long Island City, an area of Queens just across the river from Manhattan. My companion and I were on our way to an appointment in the Queens Bridge Projects when we stopped to talk to two older ladies on their way back home from the grocery store.

“Hi, I’m Elder Merrill, and we’re out here to tell people that we have a living prophet on this earth today. Would you be interested in hearing more about that?”

With frightening directness, one of the women turned to me and asked, “Oh really, a prophet? What’s he been prophesying lately?”

I probably stood slack-jawed for a decent 5 seconds before the next words tumbled uncontrollably out of my mouth:

“Drugs are bad.” [Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Doctrine & Policy, Family, General Conference, Guest Post, Mormon, Science, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy Tagged With: 2020, First Vision, general conference, love, prophet, revelation

Fear Factor

May 16, 2019 by Guest

This guest post is by Heidi Naylor, who teaches English at Boise State University and writes amazing books for BCC Press on the side.

My brother Karl Beus and his wife Lisa have worked hard to help build an interfaith alliance in their Cleveland community. As good people, and as Latter-day Saints, they’ve forged relationships with the local Islamic congregation, with benefits of community and friendship for all involved. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Mormon Tagged With: christchurch, Easter, fear, Interfaith, Islam, love, muslim, peace, Religion, spirituality, sri lanka, Terrorism

Love: A Proclamation to the World

May 15, 2019 by Guest

Today’s Proclamation is courtesy of best-selling author Mette Ivie Harrison.

I proclaim to my family of Latter-day Saints today that love is the organizing principle of the universe and that it is the most important value of all previous generations, all future generations, and of this generation. The pure love of Christ is the foundation of all that we do as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is what teaches us to find the divine in ourselves. It is what allows us to see ourselves and others more clearly. It is the only thing that enables us to become better people: kinder, more compassionate, more understanding, more expansive in our views, wiser, more learned, and more capable of serving others truly—without judgment or superiority. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Church Programs, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Marriage, Mormon, Religion, TCoJCoLDS, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy Tagged With: love, proclamation, Proclamation on the Family

Let Love be Love

April 5, 2019 by Guest

Nicole is a mother, feminist, and activist living in the Salt Lake Valley with her partner Kerstin and blended family of seven. She credits the women in her life for shaping her values and her hope for a world filled with compassion, authenticity, and uncompromising love.

It’s so hard to find any words to express my feelings about the news about the changed policy.

I type and delete and type and delete.

I couldn’t find the right words because I couldn’t find words that were true enough to myself, but that I thought would be safe from hurting or offending my family who are still members. I love my family very much and they have been so great with Kerstin and me. Since they’ve been so careful not to hurt us, I really, really don’t want to hurt them.

I think I’d just like to describe my dream world. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Church Programs, Current Events, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Gender & Sexuality, Guest Post, Marriage, Mormon, Religion Tagged With: apologies, apostasy, change, exclusion, family, gay, homosexuality, lgbt, love, policy, pox, unconditional love

From Broken Hearts to Expansive Love

February 26, 2019 by Guest

[BCC Editorial Note: this guest post contains raw and personal details of sexual assault, ecclesiastical abuse, and grace. The content may not be advised for all readers.]

PAR has degrees from places warm and sunny, cold and cloudy, and hot and sticky. None of those degrees led to work he enjoyed. He then realized having a job was the problem and now does his own thing for clients he mostly likes.

I’d like to share a little bit of my journey with you, friend. Because I feel like maybe you don’t see me. Not just me, but people like me. I grew up in the Church. I served a mission. I went to school. I worked. I went to more school. I worked. Then I went to more school. In school round three, I met my now-wife. Through that point I probably voted like you. I knew the prescribed answers at church really well. You probably saw me as a model Mormon. Sometimes, though, life happens. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Family, Guest Post, Mormon Tagged With: atonement, broken, discipline, ecclesiastical endorsement, Jesus, lgbt, love, sexual assault, temple recommend interview

My Valentine to the Church

February 14, 2019 by Carolyn

It’s Valentine’s Day, and I’ve felt inspired to take a moment and write some reflections on my gratitude and love for the Church.

My last few weeks have sparked a renewed joy in the gospel. Two years ago I left my cluster of friends in the one and only true ward (thanks California!). Ever since, I’ve felt a little aloof from the heart of Mormonism. Yet recently, my Sabbath experience has been refreshed as a delight.

The new two-hour block and Come Follow Me curriculum seems to have galvanized my ward — gospel doctrine discussions have increased in thoughtfulness; Relief Society lessons have increased in vulnerability. I’ve heard raw and inspiring commentary from the pulpit during Sacrament Meeting; slightly shorter talks have focused the content on Christ. My family created a listserv to discuss the Book of Mormon; my friend circle Mormon Studies book clubs are going strong. An intimate discussion on the temple overflowed with wisdom and hope. I love the emphasis on ministering and the ways I’ve begun connecting with every individual in my ministering circle. Then last Sunday, I had a conversation with my Bishop that embodied the best of pastoral care.

When the body of Christ is healthy, it is truly divine. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Holiday, Marriage, Mormon, Religion, Sunday School, Young Men, Young Women Tagged With: body of Christ, community, love, Mormon, support, valentine's day

The God Who Stoops

January 28, 2019 by Carolyn

In discussing the advance of women’s rights, Ruth Bader Ginsburg has often remarked that when we set women on a pedestal, we actually lock them in a cage.

I’ve been wondering lately whether the same could be said about God. (And even more so, Heavenly Mother.) When we consign our Heavenly Parents to a throne of glory in the distant heavens, we’re actually locking them behind human constructs of divinity. We’re building a wall of checkpoints and purity standards, then barring all we deem unholy or unclean from approaching their mercy.

Our all-to-common vision of God on a celestial pedestal gets it all backwards. To borrow a phrase from Rachel Held Evans’s latest book Inspired: our God stoops. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Anciently Revealed, Doctrine & Policy, Family, Mormon Tagged With: God, Heavenly Mother, Heavenly Parents, inspired, lost sheep, love, rachel held evans, stoop, worthiness

Indiana Interfaith Vigil Against Hate

August 2, 2018 by Carolyn

Indiana is my home. I grew up north of Indianapolis, in the suburbs of Hamilton County. This is what my part of Indiana looks like — abundant greenery, small country hills, midwestern sunsets, cornfields.

Hamilton County is one of the reddest counties in a red state. It’s filled with upper-middle class suburbs, booming megachurches, top-tier public school districts, and well-funded infrastructure and government. It’s an amazing place to raise a family. I learned love and community and hard work there.
[Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Mormon, Race, Religion Tagged With: community, hate, indiana, Interfaith, love

The Psychology of the Good Samaritan

January 9, 2018 by Carolyn

O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? (Micah 6:8).

While attending a legal ethics seminar last Saturday, I surprisingly had the most spiritual moment of my year. A speaker there relayed the story of From Jerusalem to Jericho, an (apparently famous, but I had never heard of it) psychology study from 1973. (A more readable journalistic summary is here.) The authors specialized in research regarding what conditions prompt bystanders to help ailing strangers, rather than to ignore them.

The set-up was simple. At Princeton Theological Seminary, 40 theology students were assigned to prepare lectures as part of a final exam. The exam occurred in a tight time frame: in 15-minute increments, instructors told individual students they needed to either leisurely wend their way across campus, or rush across campus, in order to make it to the building where their graded lecture would be recorded. Half of the students were specifically assigned to speak on the Parable of the Good Samaritan.

But the lecture wasn’t the real test. The real test was that as they darted across campus, each student would encounter a sick and distressed man, lying in their path. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Doctrine & Policy, Mormon, Scriptures, Theology, Theology, Doctrine & Policy Tagged With: family, Good Samaritan, love, right action, service

Memories of President Monson

January 3, 2018 by Carolyn

President Monson has died. I hope he and his dear wife, Frances Monson (d. 2013), are celebrating a joyful reunion this morning.

Photo courtesy of LDS.org

Our dear prophet spent more than 60 years of his life devoted to the Church, serving as a Bishop in his 20s, a Mission President in his 30s, and then as an apostle since the age of 36. He strived to follow Christ, preaching the gospel through his words and actions. He proclaimed peace, cared for the widows, and loved the children. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, General Conference, Mormon Tagged With: death, general conference, love, prophets, Thomas S. Monson

Advent IV: Love

December 24, 2017 by Jason K.

This Advent season, I’ve admittedly had a hard time feeling much hope or peace or joy. Political events are such that “depressing” has long since ceased to be an adequate wo rd, this semester I’ve been overwhelmingly busy with everything except the projects that matter most to me, church has been hard rather than nourishing, and I could go on. All through the season I’ve had these words running through my mind:

Then in despair I bowed my head:
“There is no peace on Earth,” I said,
“for hate is strong and mocks the song
of peace on Earth, goodwill to men.”

Yet in all of this I’ve felt that love, improbably, would find a way. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Advent, Mormon, Mormon Lectionary Project Tagged With: Advent, Kierkegaard, love, Tobit

Testimony

September 14, 2017 by Jason K.

Yesterday, in a conversation about apologetics at the Maxwell Institute, I bore my testimony in a semi-public place, which is not something I usually do. Even so, I felt that I should share the substance of what I said here, with some slight elaboration.

I believe that trying to love people matters. I believe that even though I’m less certain by the day what love even is or whether love has the power to do what I hope it can. I believe it because that is the life to which my reading of the New Testament, in particular, calls me. On a pretty deep level, I can do no other: I routinely fail to love in the way that I believe I should do, and yet each failure sends me back to the path, more secure in my conviction. For me, Jesus is love. I say that in part because it’s what the scriptures witness to me, but more because in my own life I have experienced Jesus as the most faithful of friends, even and especially as I fail. His faithfulness calls me to be similarly faithful to those I love. I do not understand how to walk this way, but every day I try. The life that I try to lead in spite of my failures is my witness.

Filed Under: Navel-Gazing & Poetic Observation Tagged With: love, testimony

If she asks for tacos, give a salad?

August 8, 2017 by Carolyn

“Ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish. Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent…For behold, are we not all beggars?” (Mosiah 4 16:19)

Lived Christianity is … difficult. In a multitude of everyday encounters, I either genuinely don’t know, or my natural instinct is not to follow, how Christ would act.

I’ve dubbed these my moral “dilemmas of the day.”

Take yesterday. The poor often congregate near where I work. My office is in a gentrifying area — upscale cafes serving business professionals are popping up next to downtrodden public housing and shelters. Nearly every day, someone asks me for help.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Mormon, Religion Tagged With: love, service

Resurrection

August 6, 2017 by Jason K.

As a Mormon raised on the 2nd Article of Faith, I believed that the principle of individual responsibility made the concept of an inherited “original sin” incoherent. We each, I thought, came into the world as blank slates, given eight years to develop the capacity for accountability—at which point baptism gave us a clean start, just in case. From then on, we bore the responsibility of acting well, with repentance and weekly sacrament participation to take care of our inevitable mistakes. With Christ’s help, we would be capable of living in the world as good people.

It’s not that I disbelieve any of this now, exactly. Still, I’ve recently found myself telling people that I believe in original sin. I always hasten to clarify that it’s not the Augustinian seminally-transmitted version of original sin that has won my assent. I don’t believe that my veins flow with depravity born from Adam’s fall, and I don’t believe that newborn babies carry its taint. I do believe, though, that our common humanity has a dark side that none of us escapes. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Theology, Doctrine & Policy Tagged With: Abundant Life, atonement, love, Original Sin, resurrection, sealing, Zion

Hypotheticals and Our Christian Duty

August 1, 2017 by Sam Brunson

A quick hypothetical. (For those of you who didn’t attend law school, a law school hypothetical is a carefully constructed situation meant to tease out the implications of a rule or a law. The hypothetical itself isn’t meant to convey any truth value. What I mean is, please don’t argue for or against my hypothetical: it’s the consequences I’m interest in.)

Let’s imagine that it has been established that homosexual behavior (however you want to define that) is sinful. What do we, as members of the church and the ward, do when an LGBTQ individual comes to church? And what if it’s clear that that individual is participating in homosexual behavior (again, whatever we want to define that as)? [Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Gender & Sexuality, Mormon, Religion, Society & Culture Tagged With: Jesus, LGBTq, love, sin

Risky Religion, or, The Terrors of Love

February 12, 2017 by Jason K.

Keep the commandments; in this there is safety and peace.
—Barbara A. McConochie, Hymn 303

The world’s a tumultuous place, no doubt about it: roiling with uncertainty. No wonder, then, that we seek safety. Mormonism has a strong discursive bent toward treating the gospel as the means to safety in a perilous world. Get on board the Old Ship Zion, we say, and you’ll weather the storm. The watchmen on the tower will warn of impending danger, and, if we heed their precautions, we can sleep soundly at night.

On the cosmic level, I believe that this is right, and in some more proximate ways as well: trying to steer clear of sin is probably a good idea. Even so, I think that the safety the gospel affords turns out to be more painfully paradoxical than we usually like to let on.

Elder Holland: We Get Credit For Trying #ldsconf

April 3, 2016 by Sam Brunson

Back when I was in high school, I was warned not to guess if I didn’t know the answer to an SAT question. It’s been years, so my memory may be off, but I believe the test awarded points for correct answers, no points for blank answers, and took away points for wrong answers. If you weren’t at least reasonably certain that you were right, not answering the question was better than risking choosing a wrong answer, and losing points.[fn1]

As of last month, apparently, that changed: wrong answers still won’t get students points, but they also won’t cost students points. Where before, students had a strong incentive to refrain from participating, now the incentives have changed. [Read more…]

Filed Under: General Conference, Mormon, TCoJCoLDS Tagged With: elder holland, FAIL, love, try

Waves of Adversity

February 10, 2016 by D Christian Harrison

Christian Harrison is a long-time friend of the blog, and we’re glad to feature this guest post from him.

Earlier this month, I taught a lesson on adversity that was largely based on Chapter 3 of “Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Howard W. Hunter.” The following essay approximates my lesson.

* * *

In today’s Sacrament meeting, a story was shared by the speaker about a discussion he had with a professor of his from the Religion Department at BYU: “What,” he recalled asking his mentor, “did it all mean?” With the succinctness of hindsight, the professor replied, “I can sum it all up with one word: obedience.”

I have to admit that I cringed when I heard that. I think the Lord would have something to say to that professor about “what it all means” and how best to “sum it all up.”

Then one of [the Pharisees], which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying, “Master, which is the great commandment in the law?” [And] Jesus said unto him, “‘Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.’—this is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, ‘Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 22:35–40)

Love. Love of God… and love of all mankind, because God is Love (1 John 4:8). [Read more…]

Filed Under: Guest Post, Mormon Tagged With: Adversity, body of Christ, love, obedience

As a Little Child

November 15, 2015 by Guest

Elijah (age 4) is one of the blog’s younger friends. He likes Star Wars, superheroes, and Thelonious Monk. He gave this talk in Primary today. We share it with his (and his parents’) permission.

When we serve others, we serve God. Serving other people means being nice to them. When people are sad or lonely, I can be their friend. I can be silly to help them be happy. When they fall down and are bleeding, I can get them a band-aid. I can give people hugs when they need them, or I can share my stufties* to help them feel better. If someone is being left out, I can ask them to play with me. We should love others. That is part of God. Jesus would help people who are left out or alone. That is important! In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

*stuffed animals

Filed Under: Primary Tagged With: God, Jesus, kindness, love, service

Zina D. H. Young

August 28, 2015 by Jason K.

Along with her close friend (and sister wife twice over) Eliza R. Snow, Zina D. H. Young was part of the power duo of Mormon women in the second half of the nineteenth century. Popular wisdom held that Eliza was the head and Zina the heart, complementing each other as they traveled indefatigably around Utah (and beyond) to do the work of the Relief Society. (Picture two women in their late 50s, traveling alone through the deserts of Utah, camping together under the stars when they didn’t manage to reach a settlement.) [Read more…]

Filed Under: Mormon Lectionary Project, Relief Society Tagged With: charity, community, Eliza R. Snow, female ritual healing, forgiveness, Louise Yates Robison, love, Relief Society, Zina D. H. Young

Walking in Love with the Gospel Topics Essays

August 9, 2015 by Jason K.

Here at BCC, amidst the recent interest in Joseph Smith’s seerstone (here, here, and here), we’ve also been revisiting the Gospel Topics essays (here and here). Collectively, the Church’s decision to publish pictures of the seerstone (and let’s not forget that the pictures appear in a landmark edition of the printer’s manuscript of the Book of Mormon) and the publication of the essays all participate in an institutional trend toward transparency about the Church’s history. Although I personally applaud this trend, it admittedly also adds some complications to the already challenging project of building Zion.

The basic problem is that some members have known about most of this stuff for years, while it comes as a sometimes unpleasant surprise to others, some of whom have been taught that ideas now given the imprimatur of lds.org were anti-Mormon lies. This reality presents the urgent question of how these two groups of members (and all of the people in between) are to live together in Christian community. Sam has recently written about one approach to teaching these materials in a Church setting, and I wish to add some theological reflections to his pragmatic discussion.
[Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Doctrine & Policy, Mormon, Theology Tagged With: charity, gospel topics essays, Grace, inoculation, love, Romans, seerstone

Living Theology: Lowell L. Bennion

February 21, 2015 by Jason K.

Where to start with Lowell Bennion, a man whose virtues almost defy enumeration? Best, perhaps, to follow his own example and cut to “the weightier matters.” [1] Although he was a theologian, teaching thousands of students in his decades as director of the Salt Lake City Institute that religion should involve the mind and the spirit (a message distilled into his classic book Religion and the Pursuit of Truth), Bennion’s greatest theological impact came from how he lived his life, inspired by these favorite words from Micah: “what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”
[Read more…]

Filed Under: Mormon Lectionary Project Tagged With: love, Lowell Bennion, remembering the poor, service

Loving “The World”—Even When It’s Oppressive

January 30, 2015 by Jason K.

Life is hard. At a stake conference a few years back, I heard Pres. Eyring speak words to the effect that if you feel like you’re swimming upstream, you’re on the right path. Those words have encouraged me many times since, prompting me when life gets difficult in ways large or small to tack into the wind and keep on sailing. This idea has a potential problem, though, in that it can quickly spill over into militaristic metaphor. Sailing into the wind risks being transmuted into swashbuckling. What’s the difference, and why does it matter? Why care what metaphor we use if enduring to the end is the outcome? [Read more…]

Filed Under: Mormon Lectionary Project Tagged With: Bhagavad Gita, Gandhi, Ikiru, Kurosawa, love, Mormon Lectionary Project, Nonviolence, Qur'an

On Disappointment and Happiness

December 10, 2014 by Jason K.

Disappointment happens—and it hurts. What’s worse is that there are opportunities for disappointment everywhere.While there’s nothing particularly modern about disappointment, modern communications technologies can amplify our awareness of disappointing events and also provide fora in which we can express the disappointments we feel. These technologies, in other words, have expanded our capacity for disappointment. Just as it’s now completely normal to encounter a Facebook post articulating disappointment with an occurrence on the other side of the world, it’s also long since become commonplace to posit “the internet” as a factor in leading people to become disappointed with the Church. If disappointment is a basic part of human experience, I believe that it’s worth thinking about what part disappointment plays in our efforts to build Zion and how, then, we can engage in that work in our current technological environment. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Mormon, Navel-Gazing & Poetic Observation, TCoJCoLDS Tagged With: atonement, disappointment, faith crisis, friendship, love, Redemption, The God Who Weeps, vulnerability

The Myth of Traditional Marriage

September 17, 2014 by Angela C

Ooh, baby.

According to the song, love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage. But when it comes to the history of marriage, pairing marriage with love is putting the cart before the horse. If we look at why people used to get married, traditionally, we’ll quickly see why marriages today are less stable. And why that may not be a terrible thing.

The phrase “traditional marriage” [1] is currently in vogue to describe opponents of gay marriage. Just what does marriage look like over time? Why do people marry and why is marriage changing so much? [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Current Events, Economics, Education, Family, Marriage, Modern Era, Mormon, Politics, Religion, Society & Culture Tagged With: Feminism, love, women

Baseball

December 10, 2010 by WVS

[If you’re not into winter, what’s better than thinking about summer in the wintertime? Oh, and the only Mormony thing about this is that most of the players were -but not, I am grateful to say, the coach.]